


You're gonna miss me (When I'm gone)

by bluehairedfairy



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Probably a happy ending, TW: SelfHarm, sad af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-11 16:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13528017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehairedfairy/pseuds/bluehairedfairy
Summary: What do you do when your best friend, the love your life, walks away? Do you let her? Do you scream and cry and beg her to stop?Triggerwarning for selfharm





	1. Chapter 1

It came like a shock to Chloe when Beca had said those six words. _I just don't feel anything anymore_. They had been together for almost four years and Chloe was so sure that Beca was the one she was supposed to marry, but then one day as they were eating dinner, Chloe noticed how down Beca looked. The younger girl had barely eaten anything and was now just twirling her fork around in the food.

“Becs, are you okay?” Chloe had asked softly.

Beca had looked up at her and that was when those six words, those six soul crushing words had made their way out of Beca Mitchell's mouth, “I just don’t feel anything anymore.” Chloe was confused at first, but then Beca continued, “Chloe… We’ve been together for so long and I think that the magic is just fading away… I mean, there used to be sparks and fireworks when we kissed, but all of that is gone for me.” Beca had focused on her plate while she talked, not wanting to meet Chloe’s eyes.

Their relationship had started when Beca was in her second year of college and Chloe was in her fourth year for the second time. At first they had kept it a secret, but soon the other Bella’s caught the subtle looks and touches and how the two always ended up next to each other. It wasn't until Aubrey caught them together that they confessed. Chloe remembered it like it was yesterday.

 

_It was the second day at the camp lead by Aubrey. Everyone was tired and worn out from yesterday, even Chloe who usually was the one in a good mood._

_“Rise and shine Bella’s!” Audrey had yelled outside their tent, when no one answered she stuck her head inside. “Get up, pitches! We’ve got a lot of things to do today!” She yelled as she looked around the tent. Everyone sat up as they rubbed their eyes. Aubrey frowned as her eyes settled on the two empty spots in the middle. “Where the hell is Chloe and Beca?” She asked the others, who would just shrug or tell her that they didn't know. Aubrey was furious. Where were they? All of their things were still in the tent, so they were probably still here. That was when Aubrey heard giggling behind the cabin and a voice, awfully close to Beca’s saying to keep quiet. Aubrey quickly followed the sounds and was met with a sight that she never thought she would see. Her best friend, Chloe Beale making out with Beca Mitchell. Chloe’s back was pressed against the wall and her legs wrapped around the small brunette’s waist. “Chlo! Beca! What the hell are you two doing?” She asked with a raised voice as the other Bella’s came to see what was going on. Beca almost dropped Chloe on the ground when she heard Aubrey’s voice, but managed to catch her and let her stand up again._

_“Uhmm… We… uh…” Beca tried to explain as she looked around at her friend’s faces. Chloe stepped forward._

_“We’re dating.” She revealed. “We have been for a few months, we just didn't want to tell anyone…” Chloe wrapped an arm around Beca’s waist, who was still in shock from being caught._

_“And you thought that it would be possible to hide from your friends?” Aubrey asked. “You all live in the same house. At some point they were gonna notice. I mean, I noticed the way you two looked at eachother yesterday.” The blonde crossed her arms. “But if you could just keep your hands and lips away from each other until you get home, that would be great.” Aubrey laughed a little (probably the most the Beca had ever seen her smile or laugh) as the pair stepped away from each other_

“Chloe… Please say something.” Beca said softly, looking over at the older woman.

“I don't know what you want me to say…” Chloe shook her head slowly. “How long have you felt like this?” She asked.

“Honestly…” Beca said looking down at her plate. “A few months. I’ve just been trying so hard to make it work, but nothing helped.” The tiny girl had put her fork down and began fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“So when we talked about marriage and kids three days ago, that was all just a joke to you?” Chloe asked with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“No… Chlo… Your feelings aren't a joke to me. I want all that someday, I just don’t see it with you anymore. I used to imagine our lives 20 years into the future, but now, I can barely imagine a week more.” Beca looked down at her plate, feeling Chloe’s eyes drilling holes in her scalp. She knew that she couldn’t stand looking up at the older woman right now. Beca already knew that the redheads eyes would be filling up with tears, even letting a few of them slip, but Beca couldn’t stand to look at the sad face of the woman that she fell in love with.

Chloe excused herself from the table and stood up. She placed her plate besides the sink before she walked into their bedroom. She needed air. The bedroom was big and with enough space, but Chloe still felt trapped. She felt like the was suffocating. The redhead opened the window before she sat down on the bed, pulling her phone out from her pocket. She dialed Aubrey’s number and the blonde picked up almost instantly.

  
“Hey Chlo! What’s going on?” Aubrey said cheerfully.

“B-Beca… She… I think that she just broke up with me.” Chloe managed to say before she let her tears fall.

“Oh god… Do you need me to come over and murder the dwarf?” Aubrey asked softly.

Chloe laughed a little. “God, no… But can I stay with you? Just until I find another apartment.”

“Yes, of course. Do you need me to come pick you up?”

“That would be great. Thank you so much, Bree.” Chloe wiped her tears away.

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes, sweetie.” Aubrey said before she hung up the phone.  
  


Chloe took a deep breath before she grabbed a suitcase from under the bed and filled it with clothes enough to last a while. She didn't want to have to see Beca again soon. Chloe was just closing her suitcase when she heard a knock on the door. Before she had the chance to make it to the front door, Beca had already opened to to find a very pissed off Aubrey. Before Beca could question why the blonde was there, she had taken a step inside and began talking.

“You know, Beca, I never really liked you. I’ve always know that you weren’t good enough for Chloe. But to get a call this late from my best friend who tells me that you’ve broken up with her? That is just unacceptable.” Aubrey placed a finger on Beca’s chest, pushing her away.

“Bree.” Chloe warned her. “Don’t do this right now.” She walked past both of them to put on her jacket and shoes.

Beca watched as the redhead passed her with a suitcase. It was obvious that the older woman had been crying, but so had Beca. “Chlo… Where are you going?” She tried to walk over to her, but Aubrey held her back.

“I can’t be around you right now, Beca.” Chloe said before she left the apartment, heading for the elevator.

“Don’t try to come over.” Aubrey said as she left. “Chloe will discuss this with you whenever she feels ready.”

 

Beca watched as both women left with the elevator. She went over to the window just to watch them drive away. The tears that she had been holding back for so long, finally fell when she saw Chloe looking up at the window with tears running down her cheeks before getting into Aubrey’s car. Beca took a deep breath as she watched them drive away. She didn’t think that Chloe would react this way. Usually the older girl was so positive and would always try to fix their problems instead of just running away.

“Chlo…” Aubrey said softly as they both sat on the blonde’s couch with a cup of coffee. “Tell me what happend.” She took her best friends hand.

“Beca… She… She told me that she didn't feel anything anymore and that she had felt this way for a few months.” Chloe took a deep breath, wiping her tears away. “How can she just pretend for so long? We talked about marriage and kids three days ago.” The redhead ran a hand through her hair. “She never said anything.”

“Beca is an ass. You’re too good for her.” Aubrey pulled her best friend into a hug, letting Chloe cry on her shoulder. “I never liked her, you know that.” The blonde rubbed soothing circles on Chloe’s back. After a while, she laid down on the couch with Chloe on top of her as the redhead fell asleep. After a few minutes, Chloe’s phone started buzzing and Aubrey slowly picked it up, being careful not to wake her up. She read through a few texts send by Beca.

**_‘Chlo. Please just let me explain.’_ **

**_‘I had so much more to say’_ **

**_‘I know that you’re hurt. I understand, but please just talk to me’_ **

**_‘Call me’_ **

**_‘Baby, we need to talk about this’_ **

Aubrey sighed as Chloe’s phone started ringing. She got up from the couch, letting Chloe stay asleep as she walked into the kitchen and answered the call

“Chloe, please don’t say anything just listen t-”

“Beca, shut up.” Aubrey cut her off. “Chloe is sleeping and I’m not gonna wake her up. Anything you want to say?”

Beca took a deep breath. “No… Could you just tell her that I called? Tell her that I want to talk to her.” The brunette said before she hung up the phone.

Beca had never been very good at dealing with things. Up until she started dating Chloe, she used to deal with pain and anger by getting drunk or cutting herself. Sometimes both. Chloe had been her life line throughout all those years that they had been together. Beca didn’t have plans to tell Chloe what she was doing, but eventually the redhead had found out.

_Beca had been having a terrible day. She had skipped her first classes to go talk to her dad and stepmom. She felt that it was about time they knew about her and Chloe. It had gone terrible. Her dad had been screaming at her that being with Chloe would only lead to problems and would only make Beca unfocused. It wasn't Chloe that was the problem, it was that Chloe was a girl. Her dad was uncomfortable with knowing that his only daughter was gay._

_When Beca got back to the Bella house, she was alone. Beca slowly walked upstairs to the room that she shared with Chloe and Fat Amy. She searched through her drawers before her fingers found the small razorblade that she had hidden. Beca slowly picked it up and ran her finger along the blade, cutting a little into the skin. She took a deep breath before she went in and positioned herself in the bathtub, letting the small blade run over the skin of her thighs. Beca had always cut her thighs. It was so much easier to hide than arms and Beca always wore long jeans. That’s why nobody, not even the other Bellas knew what Beca did when she was alone. Beca winced a little as she continued to run the blade through her skin, creating long red marks and eventually drawing blood. After there was no more room left on her thighs, Beca slowly stood up and cleaned her legs off. Before she had even registered that Chloe had opened the door, she heard the older woman gasp._

_“Becs… What are you doing?” Chloe stepped closer to her, but Beca just hid her thighs under a towel. Chloe pulled Beca into a bone crushing hug and held her there even though Beca tried to get free. Chloe kept her arms around Beca until she felt the brunette relax in her arms. “Come here…” She whispered as she helped Beca over to her bed, letting the younger woman sit down. Chloe crouched down in front of her, forcing Beca to look at her. “Beca… Please tell me what’s going on.” Chloe said softly, taking Beca’s hands in hers. “Baby, I want to help you. I won’t tell anyone what I just saw.” It took a lot of encouraging to get Beca to open up, but when she finally did, she didn’t stop again. Beca told Chloe everything. Why she had skipped class, how her father had reacted, the thoughts that were going through her head, why she had a razor blade hidden in her drawer, how long it had been since the last time she used it. Chloe just sat and listened to her. She didn’t talk, she just hugged Beca whenever she needed it. That night Chloe cleaned Beca’s legs and wrapped them up she she wouldn’t get blood on the bed, and then she stayed in Beca’s bed, cuddling the smaller girl and trying to make her feel safe. Beca hated that she let herself be vulnerable, but it certainly brought them closer together when Chloe opened up and showed Beca her old scars and told her how she fought it all. This time, Chloe was the one who cried and Beca just hugged her girlfriend and listened to her._

Stacie was the one who found Beca this time. They were best friends and talked every chance they got, so when Beca didn’t answer any of Stacie’s calls or texts for hours, she started to worry. Stacie let herself in the house with the key she knew was under the doormat. Knowing where the key was, had brought in problems a few times after walking in on Chloe and Beca.

“Beca?” She yelled as she opened the door. “You weren’t picking up, so I got worried and decided to just come over.” Stacie searched through the house, almost screaming when she opened the bathroom door to find her best friend on the floor in a small pool of her own blood. “Fuck…” She quickly got down on her knees and shook Beca. When the small girl didnt move or respond, Stacie grabbed her phone and called 911 while pressing a cold towel to both of Beca’s thighs.

The ambulance came fast. Stacie decided to ride with her since Chloe wasn’t home. She sat in the back, holding Beca’s hands as tears fell down her cheeks. “Beca… What the hell have you done?” She placed a soft kiss to her hand. When they reached the hospital, Beca was ushered into a room while they left Stacie in the waiting room. She grabbed her phone and quickly found Chloe’s number. It took a while before the redhead answered.

“Stacie… Hey, what’s up?” Choe yawned, running a hand through her hair.

“Chloe, you need to come to the hospital, right now. Beca tried to kill herself.” Stacie managed to get  out between sobs. Chloe was suddenly wide awake as she heard those words.

“Shit… I’ll be there soon Stacie…” Chloe hung up before she grabbed Aubrey’s car keys and drove quickly towards the hospital, afraid that Beca would die before she got there. Chloe had found the smaller girl on the bathroom floor a few times before, but she never had to be taken to the hospital. The redhead was worried sick as she parked the car and rushed into the hospital only to find Stacie still outside the room.

“She’s still unconscious.” Stacie whispered before the two women hugged each other tightly and cried into each others shoulders. They stood for a while until a doctor approached them.

“Chloe Beale? You’re listed as Beca Mitchell’s emergency contact.” The doctor started and Chloe just nodded. “I need you to come with me for a moment.”


	2. Chapter 2

Once Chloe was seated in the mostly empty office that seemed way too clinical and sterile, the doctor took a deep breath. “Beca lost a lot of blood and she’s still unconscious. We’re doing our best to wake her up, I promise you that.”

 

Chloe nodded slowly as the doctor spoke. “Is she ever gonna wake up?” She whispered.

 

“As I said, we are doing our best to try to wake her up, but she might be out for a while. You’re lucky that your friend found her when she did. A few minutes later and she would have been gone.” The doctor looked at Chloe with a small smile. “You’re welcome to stay in her room if you want.” She said before leading Chloe back to Stacie.

Stacie pulled the redhead into a tight hug and Chloe just rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder.

 

“You can go home, Stace.” Chloe said softly. “It’s late. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

Stacie nodded as she pulled away from the hug. When Stacie had left, Chloe slowly walked into Beca’s room. She was afraid to look at her. Chloe pulled a chair over to the side of Beca’s bed before she lifted her head and looked at the brunette. As soon as she saw her, Chloe broke down crying. She grabbed onto Beca’s cold hand as she cried. “I’m so sorry, Bec… I should have stayed with you. I should have changed your mind.” She whispered. Chloe stroked Beca’s cheek, careful not to touch any of the tubes or wires hooked up to the younger girl. “I love you so much, Beca…” She placed a kiss on her forehead. “Please don’t die… I can’t live without you… I need you, Becs…” Chloe said before she sat down on the chair.

 

A few hours later when a nurse came to check on Beca, Chloe was asleep in the chair next to bed. The redhead was still holding Beca’s hand. The nurse placed a hand on Chloe’s shoulder, trying to wake her up. “Miss?” She said softly. Chloe slowly lifted her head and looked up at the nurse. “I need to ask you to move back a little. I need to do a check of Miss Mitchell.” Chloe nodded softly as she stood up and moved to the other side of Beca’s bed.

 

“Call me Chloe.” She smiled a little as the nurse nodded.

 

“So, Chloe, how are you related to Miss Mitchell? I need to ask because only family can stay during the night.” The nurse said while she concentrated on checking Beca.

 

“She’s… We’re…” Chloe started not entirely sure how to answer the questions. “It’s complicated… We’ve been together for almost five years and suddenly Beca just told me that she didn’t feel anything anymore and I… I was so hurt that I just left her alone but then Stacie called me and told me that Beca had tried to kill herself…” Chloe said as the tears started falling down her cheeks again. “I shouldn’t have left her alone… I should have stayed with her.” Chloe took a deep breath as she ran a hand through her hair. Chloe flinched as she felt the nurse’s hand on her shoulder.

 

“Don’t worry, Chloe. She’ll wake up. You’ll have a chance to sort this whole mess out. I promise.” The nurse said with a small smile. “For now, Beca is stable and all we can do is wait for her to wake up.” She said before she left the room. Chloe sat down next to Beca’s bed again and took the younger girl’s hand in her own. Beca had always been strong, but here in that moment she looked weak. Chloe had never seen the brunette look like this before, so fragile. Like she would break if Chloe squeezed her hand a little too hard. Even back when Beca got the phone call that her mother had passed away, the young girl had still remained strong and didn't cry in front of anyone, not even Chloe. She just shut everyone out until the funeral and when Beca came home again, everything went back to normal. Chloe had always admired how strong Beca was. She wished that she could do the same, but the redhead usually just cried for a few hours whenever something happened. Usually Beca let Chloe cry on her shoulder, but this time she had to turn to Aubrey. Chloe hesitantly pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Aubrey’s number.

 

“Hey, Chlo, did you take my keys?” Aubrey asked as soon as she picked up.

 

“Yeah, sorry that I didn’t wake you up but Stacie called… Beca almost killed herself. I’m at the hospital.” Chloe explained.

 

“Wait, so she breaks up with you and then almost kills herself? What the fuck is wrong with her?” Chloe could almost hear Aubrey laughing a little.

 

“Bree, please don’t do this… I just called you for advice.” Chloe sighed.

 

“Fine, sorry. Go on.”

 

“The nurse asked me if I was family and I had such a hard time answering that question… I just, blacked out. What if Beca doesn’t want me here when she wakes up? What if she gets mad that Stacie called me instead of Jesse?” Chloe asked.

 

“Okay, Chloe. You need to relax. I’m pretty sure that what Beca did was a cry for help. Your help. She obviously regrets what she said. I’m sure that she will be happy to see you there by her side. If she does get mad, Stacie will-” Aubrey was cut off by Chloe’s voice.

 

“Bree, I need to go, I think that she’s waking up.” Chloe hung up as Beca slowly opened her eyes and looked around the bright room. “Hey…” The redhead said softly.

 

“Chloe?” Beca said as she coughed a little.

 

“It’s alright. Stacie found you and brought you here and then called me. You don’t have to explain anything, but I’m gonna go find a nurse so we can make sure that everything is fine.” Chloe stood up and pressed a kiss to Beca’s forehead before she left the room.

 

Beca ran a hand through her hair, cursing at herself as she felt her wrists and thighs sting. She lowered her hand and was met by the sight of a slightly bloodsoaked white bandage. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be like this… She shouldn’t have found me’ Beca thought to herself. It was never her plan to be found. It was her plan to leave this world and never come back, even if that meant never seeing Chloe’s beautiful blue eyes again, but as soon as her eyes had adjusted to the light in the room and she saw those eyes, Beca couldn’t help but feel guilty. Chloe was the best thing that had ever happened to her so how could she be so selfish and just try to leave like that? Beca was forced out of her thoughts when Chloe entered the room with a young nurse right behind her. The girl couldn't be older than 25, the same age as Beca.

 

“So, Beca. How are you feeling?” The nurse asked as she made her way over to the bed.

 

“Like crap.” Beca scoffed. “Like someone ran me over a hundred times.” She tried not to look at Chloe while she spoke.

 

“Well, that’s normal considering what your body has been through.” The nurse smiled a little before she continued. “We’re just all happy that you’re still with us.” Chloe bit her lip and looked down at the floor while the nurse spoke. The young woman explained a lot of things to Beca, but Chloe just tuned it out, thinking about the talk they had about Beca’s scars two years ago.

* * *

 

_The couple laid in their bed on a sunday morning when Chloe slowly ran her fingers over the old scars on Beca’s thighs that has started to fade away. “Do you ever think about doing again?” The redhead asked which took Beca by surprise._

 

_“Uhm… I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. Depends on the day.  Do you?” Beca turned to face Chloe, who nodded slightly._

 

_“Almost everytime I see them.” She looked down at her own arm. “But then I remember the night Aubrey found unconscious in the bathtub and had to call an ambulance. She was so pissed at me when I woke up again. It felt like she was yelling for over three hours. After that, I promised myself and her that I would never do it again.”_

 

_“But you did.” Beca whispered as she ran a finger over the few fresh cuts on Chloe’s stomach as the redhead nodded._

 

_“Yeah and I’ve regretted it since. I should have just talked to you and told you how shitty my day had been instead of hurting myself. I fucked up.” She whispered, looking away from Beca._

 

_“Hey.” Beca turned Chloe’s head with her finger. “I don’t care. I still love you.” She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Chloe’s lips._

 

_“I love you too.” Chloe whispered against Beca’s lips._

* * *

 

Chloe’s train of thoughts was cut of when she saw Beca’s dad, John Mitchell and his new wife, Sheila stepped inside.

 

“Beca. We were so worried when Stacie called us.” They moved closer to the bed.

 

“Jesus Christ, that’s perfect. Of course you’re here right now and of course you brought her.” Beca spat at her father and stepmother.

 

“Beca…” Sheila went over to the side of  the bed. “I know that you don’t like me, but I was actually really worried about you.” She grabbed onto Beca’s arm to take a look at the cuts. “Look what you did to yourself. Why would you do something like that?” Beca yanked her arm away from Sheila.

 

“I don’t need you two here. I don’t need your pity. You need to leave because you can’t even accept who I am.” She scoffed.

 

“Is this another one of your little outbursts about sudden being ‘gay’? Because we’ve discussed this. She’s just using you.” John shot Chloe a look. “You were so much better off with Jesse. At least he didn’t make you want to kill yourself.”

 

“I think that you two should leave now.” Chloe said as she stepped between Beca and her dad. “I’ve done nothing but love and cherish your daughter. She’s was finally happy and this is how you repay her? Get out.” Chloe could feel tears threaten to spill as she continued. “I never used your daughter or forced her to anything. I love her and I wanted to marry her. You know absolutely nothing about our lives because you don’t have the guts to acknowledge the fact that your daughter found love.” Chloe was sobbing at this point. “Get out!” She yelled before they left. After the door had closed, Chloe felt a hand hold onto her wrist.

 

“Thank you.” Beca said softly. Chloe didn’t look at her. She just nodded and dried her tears away. “Chlo… Please just look at me.” Beca sighed. Chloe just shook her head. She needed air. Chloe couldn’t deal with all of it right now. She slowly pulled her wrist away from Beca’s grip as she walked out of the room. Chloe didn’t stop walking before she was outside. She leaned against a wall as she took a deep breath. Chloe couldn’t believe that she had lost her temper like that in front of Beca’s dad, but he was right. Beca was happier with when she were with Jesse. Even the short time that she dated Stacie, she seemed happier than she did with Chloe. The problem was, Chloe hadn’t noticed it before. She had been too in love to see all the signs.

Lately, Beca would stay out late and wouldn’t come back until long after Chloe was already asleep. She would stay up when she was home and work on her mixes and when they were supposed to have couple days, Beca would suddenly just bail and go somewhere. Chloe never even noticed what was going on, she was blind.

 

When Chloe returned to the room an hour later, Beca was sleeping again. Chloe sat down next to the bed and let her finger run over Beca’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “I shouldn’t have left, Becs… I should have demanded that we talked about it.” She took the smaller girls hand and placed a soft kiss on it. “I love you so much, Beca… I just wish that you felt the same way…” She whispered. “I wanted to marry you… I can’t believe that I was so sure that you were the one I was gonna be with forever…” Chloe sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.” Chloe stopped talking as she heard the door open. She looked up to see Stacie and Aubrey coming inside.

 

“Hey Chlo.” Aubrey said as she pulled her best friend into a hug. “How is she?” Aubrey looked down at Beca.

 

“She was awake an hour ago and she seemed like she was annoyed that Stacie found her.” Chloe sighed. “Her dad and Sheila came and I had to yell at them to make them leave. They told her that I was just using her and that this was all my fault… They told her that she was better off with Jesse.” Chloe let her tears fall down her cheeks. “They’re right… Beca never tried to kill herself when she was with Jesse.”

 

“Chloe, don’t say that.” Stacie stepped over to the girls. “Beca was so much happier with you than she was with Jesse. I don’t know how many times I had to physically pull the razor out of her hands to stop her from doing something stupid.” Stacie sighed. “I’ve never had to stop her when she was with you. She never called me at 2am to beg me to come and help her after you guys moved in together.” She looked down at Beca.

 

“Yeah, well you should probably get ready to lose sleep again, because she broke up with me.” Chloe wiped her tears away. “I’m moving in with Aubrey until I find an apartment.” She sat down the chair next to the bed.

 

“No, you’re not going anywhere.” Aubrey looked down at Chloe. “You’re gonna stay with Beca because she needs someone to take care of her after she gets home. No one knows her like you do, Chloe. I don’t care if you talk to her about what she said, but you need to be there for her.” Chloe nodded as Aubrey spoke.

 

* * *

  


_Stacie had gone to bed at 10 pm and knew that she had classes the next day at 8. She didn’t expect to be woken up at 2 am by her ringtone. Stacie sat up in her bed as she fumbled to reach her phone. “Yeah?” She yawned._

 

_“I need you.” The voice on the other end sobbed. “You have to help me.”_

 

_“Beca?” Stacie asked as she rubbed her eyes._

 

_“Yes…” She said quietly._

 

_“What’s wrong? Where are you?” Stacie asked as she started pulling her pants on._

 

_“I c-cut myself. I’m in the shower.” Beca said. Stacie could her her throwing up and crying._

 

_“Beca. I’m gonna be there in ten minutes, okay? Don’t go anywhere.” Stacie ran out the door. She knew that she had to be fast. This wasn’t the first time that Beca had called her in the middle of the night, crying. Last time it happened, Stacie had found Beca on the floor of her dorm with her thighs cut up. As soon as Stacie reached the bathroom, she ripped the door open and hurried over to Beca. She pulled the small girl close as she slowly began washing Beca’s cuts until they stopped bleeding. Stacie held Beca close, singing softly until the small girl had stopped crying. She dried Beca’s cuts to keep pressure on them before she helped Beca change her clothes and get her to bed. Stacie stayed the night right next to Beca._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, second chapter. What do you think?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaand here it finally is. Chapter 3.  
> As always, enjoy, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of it :)

When Beca opened her eyes, she looked around in the pitch black room until her eyes adjusted to the low light and she realized she was still in the hospital. Beca sighed as she sat up, wincing a little at the pain coming from her thighs. She moved the blanket out of the way to look at her legs. Beca ran a finger over the bandages wrapped tight. She looked around the room until her eyes found Chloe sleeping in a chair in the corner. The redhead looked so beautiful even though she was obviously very tired. Beca hated herself for telling Chloe how she felt. She shouldn’t have to sit here with Beca just because she couldn’t stay alive. Beca reached for her phone, letting out a small groan as she saw the missed texts from Amy. Apparently Stacie had filled her in on what happened and Amy was furious that Beca had tried to kill herself. She sighed as she put her phone down again. Beca looked over at Chloe, only to find the redhead staring directly back at her.

 

“Hey…” Chloe said softly, moving her chair closer to the bed. Beca barely answered, she just nodded a little and looked down at her hands. “Becs…” Chloe sighed. “We need to talk about this.” She took the smaller girls hand. Beca just shook her head, not trusting her voice enough to speak. “Fine,if you won’t talk, then you might as well listen to what I have to say.” Chloe took a deep breath. “I honestly think that this was a really dick move, Beca. You can’t just break up with someone and then try to kill yourself. Do you even know how much I care about you? Do you know that I had to pull over on my way here because I couldn’t stop crying. I thought that I had lost you, Beca. Even if you want to break up with me and want me to move out, I still want to be in your life. You’re my best person I know and it hurts so much that you couldn’t see another way out. I thought that I was gonna come here and find you dead.” Chloe ran a hand through her hair. Beca slowly lifted her head, noting the tears slowly falling down Chloe’s cheeks. “What you did was not okay and I’m so mad at you for doing it, but I still love you, Beca. I had our whole future planned and I thought that we were gonna grow old together, but I respect your decision. You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you don’t feel anything…” Chloe quickly wiped her tears away.

 

“Chlo…” Beca whispered. “I’m so sorry… I just… I couldn’t fake it anymore.” She looked down at her hands. Chloe nodded a little.

 

“So this is it? This is the end of us?” Chloe asked softly, looking up at Beca. She bit her lower lip hard as Beca nodded a little.

 

“I’m sorry, Chloe…” Beca sighed. “I just can’t do it anymore.”

 

Chloe nodded as she stood up. “Don’t apologize, Becs. I’ll get Stacie to come here and wait with you while I pack my things.” She grabbed her phone and shot a quick text to Stacie. “Bye Beca.” Chloe leaned down, placing a soft kiss on Beca’s lips before walking out of the room.

 

Beca watched as Chloe left, letting a few tears fall down her cheeks. She hated that this was the way it had to end between them. Beca laid down in the bed again, just staring up at the ceiling until she heard the door open as Stacie walked inside.

 

“Beca? Are you okay?” Stacie asked softly.

 

Beca shook her head. “No…” She whispered. “She left, Stace… It’s over now.” Beca took a deep breath before she sat up. “What am I gonna do without her?” She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

 

“You’re gonna live your dream, Beca.” Stacie answered quickly. When she saw Beca’s confused look, she continued; “Before you and Chloe got together, you used to talk about wanting to become a producer and record your own stuff. Do it. You have literally nothing stopping you now.” Stacie smiled a little when Beca nodded slightly.

 

“Yeah… Maybe I will… Last time, I stayed for Chloe, but this time there’s nothing holding me.” Beca said. “How do I even start? Do I just contact a label with a few demos?”

 

“I guess.” Stacie shrugged. “Give some demos to different labels and see if anyone reacts. Do a few demos with your own stuff and a few of your mixes.”

 

Beca nodded and opened her mouth to speak just as the door opened.

 

“Miss Mitchel? Are you ready to go home?” The nurse asked as she moved closer to the bed.

 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Beca said as the nurse handed her the discharge paperwork and a pen.

 

“Push the call button when you’re done with these and we’ll help you get out of here and home.” The nurse left the room again.

Beca quickly started filling the paperwork out and was soon finished. She looked up at Stacie. “So, how does the bathroom look?” She sighed at the thought.

 

“I actually got Aubrey to clean it. It’s fine.” Stacie said, helping Beca out of the bed.

 

“But Aubrey hates me. How did you do that Stacie?”

 

The tall brunette shrugged. “I pretty much just told her that if she didn't do it, there would be no sex for a month. I knew that she couldn’t do that.” She laughed a little as Beca pressed the call button. The nurse showed up soon after to change Beca’s bandages while Stacie found some clothes for her. Beca quickly changed and soon after, she was sitting in Stacie’s car, ready to go home. “Becs, do you need me to stay for a couple of days until your legs stop hurting?”

 

Beca shook her head quickly. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just start working on my demos and I’ll call you if I need anything.”

 

When Stacie stopped the car outside Beca’s apartment, the small girl quickly hugged her friend before going inside. Beca sighed as she noticed that the door was unlocked, meaning that Chloe was still there. She slowly went inside, setting her bag down. “Chloe?” She called out. “Please just come sit down with me, we need to talk.” Beca sat down on the couch as Chloe came out from the bedroom.

 

“Beca, there’s nothing left to talk about.”

 

“Would you just sit down?” Beca patted the spot next to her, but Chloe just leaned against the wall, shaking her head. “Fine…” Beca mumbled. She took a deep breath before speaking. “I want you to have the apartment.” Beca looked up at Chloe.

 

“I-I can’t do that… I’m not gonna throw you out, Beca.” Chloe sighed.

 

“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll be leaving at the end of the month anyway.” Beca said softly. “Stacie gave me  an idea. I’ve decided to follow my old dream of recording my own music and producing others. I’m moving to New York.” She looked out of the window.

 

“Oh… So this is really it? We’re really over? You’re moving across the country just to get away from me.” Chloe scoffed.

 

“No, Chlo. Come on, that’s not why and you know it. I just need to do this for myself. Don’t worry, I’ll barely be here until I move. I need to record my demos… I’ll be working and the only time I’ll come back here is just to sleep and I promise, I’ll take the couch. You don’t even have to talk to me…” Beca slowly stood up and moved closer to Chloe. “It’ll be fine, we can do this. It’ll be just like when we lived together in the Bella house before we started dating.”

 

“Really? So we’ll still be having sex three days a week and whenever we need to relax?” Chloe laughed a little as she remembered how life had been before they finally admitted their feelings for eath other.

 

 

_Chloe hated this. Hated that she couldn’t just admit that she really liked Beca. Not even with this weird ‘friends with benefits’ thing that they had going on. It had started once when they were both drunk and Beca had gotten a little too close to Chloe. When they stumbled inside the house, Beca’s lips on Chloe’s neck, they didn’t even care that this was so wrong. It felt so right. Chloe quickly closed the door before pushing Beca up against it, crashing their lips together, thankful that none of the other Bellas had decided to stay over the break. Beca pulled Chloe’s shirt off, letting it drop to the floor before pushing the redhead into the bedroom. Beca pushed Chloe down on the bed and pulled her own shirt off before getting on top of her. She ran her hands down Chloe’s chest and stomach before kissing her again. Beca began unbuttoning Chloe’s pants and soon after they joined her own shirt on the floor. Beca’s pants going the same way soon after._

* * *

 

_When Chloe woke up, the first thing that she noticed was that she was naked. Completely naked. Then she noticed how much her head hurt. I took her a few minutes of rubbing her head to notice the arm draped over her stomach. Chloe froze as she saw the familiar headphone tattoo on Beca’s wrist. She slowly moved the brunette’s arm away and got out of bed. Chloe felt guilty when she saw that Beca was naked took. They had slept together and she didn’t even remember. Chloe had spent the last year flirting with Beca, but the dj didn’t even notice. Chloe went out into the bathroom to take a shower, feeling that it would somehow make her feel less dirty, less like she used her friend because of a stupid crush._

_When she returned from her shower, Beca was still sound asleep. Chloe got dressed before she went downstairs and into the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast for both of them. When the coffee was done, she grabbed Beca’s mug and went upstairs. Chloe put the mug down on the bedside table and shook Beca a little to wake her up._

_“Becs. I made coffee and pancakes… C’mon, you can’t stay in bed all day.” She laughed a little when Beca just swatted her arm away and turned around. “Beca. Get up.” Chloe sighed which just earned a grunt from Beca. “Fine.” Chloe shrugged as she  climbed on top of Beca, straddling her hips. The brunette suddenly opened her eyes and smirked a little._

 

_“Well, if this is your new tactic of waking me up, I’m never not sleeping in your bed again.” Beca sat up, wrapping her arms around Chloe’s waist, kissing her deeply._

 

_Chloe smiled against Beca’s lips. “Your coffee’s getting cold.” She chuckled a little as Beca kissed her neck._

 

_“Mhmm, It can wait.” Beca smirked as she flipped them over, getting in between Chloe’s legs._

 

 

Beca chuckled a little at the memory. “It was kind of pathetic, wasn’t it? We pretty much just avoided talking about our relationship by having sex.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Well, if that’s what you want then…”

 

“No, Beca. I don’t just want to have meaningless sex until you move away.” Chloe sighed. To be honest, she didn’t want Beca to move away at all, but if that was what she wanted, then Chloe couldn't stop her anymore. “Why now?” Chloe looked over at Beca. “If moving away and getting famous was your dream, then why did you wait?”

 

Beca wanted to tell Chloe the real reason. It was because of her. Beca never wanted to hurt Chloe and never wanted to leave her alone, but now, she needed to follow her own dreams. “I was scared…” Beca said softly. “I was so young and I didn’t know if I could do it.” She looked into Chloe’s eyes. “I loved you. I really did, but we both know that this would never last. Chlo, you’re so much better than me and you deserve so much more than I can give you. I run away when things get hard. You need someone who can sit down and talk about things.” She looked down at her hands. “And I just didn’t realize that I can’t do that.”

 

Chloe just shook her head. “I need some air.” She grabbed her coat and quickly went outside. Even out in the fresh air, Chloe felt like she couldn’t breathe. She felt like someone or something was sitting on her chest and crushing her lungs. She tried to take deep breaths, tried to sit down for a few minutes, but nothing worked until she felt her stomach turning. Soon, Chloe was on the ground, emptying her stomach out onto the pavement in the alley behind a dirty bar. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and leaned back against the wall. It hit her like a brick to the face when Beca had said all that to her. They had been together for four years and Beca still felt like she wasn’t enough. Chloe knew that Beca used to feel insecure in the relationship. Beca never understood why Chloe would want someone like her, but Chloe always tried to reassure her that Beca was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

After a few minutes on the ground, Chloe shakily stood up and returned to the apartment.

“I’m sorry that I left.” She said as she passed Beca, heading straight for the bathroom to wash her mouth.

 

“Chlo, are you okay?” Beca followed her.

 

“I’m fine.” Chloe lied, forcing a small smile. If she had to be honest, Chloe hadn’t been fine since Beca broke up with her but she couldn’t say that to her. “I’m just tired… I’m gonna go to bed.” She quickly went to the bedroom, wanting to just be alone with her thoughts. Chloe laid down and pulled the covers over herself.

 

“You seem like you need to talk.” Beca said as she laid down next to Chloe, being careful not to touch her. Chloe turned around to face Beca and just looked at her for a moment before  shifting closer and placing her head on the brunette’s chest. “Talk to me, Chloe.” Beca said as she drew small circles on her back.

 

“Please don’t leave.” Chloe whispered as she let a few tears fall down her face.

 

“I’m staying right here with you, Chlo.” Beca placed a kiss on top of Chloe’s head.

 

Chloe shook her head slightly. “Please don’t go to New York.” A small sob escaped Chloe’s lips and Beca felt her heart break at the sound of Chloe so desperate.

 

“Chloe…” Beca whispered. “We agreed that this was over. I have to follow my dream… And you should find someone who’s better for you.” It hurt to say it to Chloe, but Beca knew that she would regret it forever if she didn’t follow her dreams. “You should get some sleep.” Beca placed another kiss on Chloe’s head. They stayed wrapped in eachothers arms while Chloe fell asleep while Beca was singing softly to her calm her down. Beca didn’t sleep that night. A million thoughts and questions were running around in her head and suddenly she wasn’t so sure that leaving was the best plan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey, look at that. A chapter wow!
> 
> Also, this is last chapter before a major time jump, but don't worry what happens in the years will be covered in messages and flashbacks. :)

When Chloe woke up, Beca was gone. Chloe slowly sat up in the bed and ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. She slowly rubbed her temples, her head a little from crying last night. Chloe got up from the bed, grabbing one of Beca’s hoodies and put it on before she went into the kitchen. Beca was sitting in the kitchen with her laptop and headphones, putting the final touches on one of her mixes. Chloe made two cups of coffee and placed one in front of Beca. The small girl pulled her headphones off and looked up at Chloe.

 

“Thanks.” She smiled as she took the cup.

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday…” Chloe said softly, staring into her own coffee cup.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Chlo. It’s fine.” Beca took a sip of her coffee.

 

“No, it’s not. You barely slept. I can see it on you, Beca…” Chloe sighed. “What happened last night after I fell asleep?” She looked over at Beca as she leaned against the doorframe.

 

Beca shrugged a little. “I was just thinking. It was nothing.”

 

“Beca, you tensed up when I told you not to leave.” Chloe bit her lower lip. “What’s going on?”

 

Beca sighed, letting her eyes focus on the coffee. She couldn’t tell Chloe the real reason that she didn’t sleep. Beca had spend the night looking at the beautiful redhead in her arms and wondered what would happen if she didn’t leave. Would she be able to pull herself together and love Chloe again, or would she just be the failure that everyone expected her to be. “Chloe, I promise that it’s nothing. Could you please just let it go?”

 

Chloe put her hands up in defeat. “Fine. I’ll shut up.” She quickly finished her coffee. “I’m gonna go to Aubrey’s. Call me if you need me.” Chloe went into the bedroom and got dressed. On the way out, an “I love you, Becs” slipped out of her mouth and Chloe didn’t even realize. Beca however just sat there frozen like a statue, for some reason waiting for Chloe to come back and sit with her and tell her that it was all a huge mistake. But Chloe didn’t come back.

After a few hours of Beca feeling sorry for herself and trying to finish her latest mix, she slowly worked up the courage to call Stacie and ask for her help.

 

“Hey! Becs. How are you?” Stacie asked as soon as she picked up.

 

“Not great… I need your help. I need you to talk some sense into me.” Beca sighed.

 

“Alright. Lay it on me.” Stacie chuckled a little.

 

“Okay… Yesterday I told Chloe about my plan to move to New York and she got pretty mad. She ran off but came back crying a few hours later. I ended up having to comfort her until she fell asleep… In the middle of her crying, she told me not to go, and I feel like I really shouldn’t go. I can’t just leave her behind…”

 

“Beca…” Stacie sighed. She wasn’t sure how to react to all this. “Ultimately, it’s your choice, but what’s keeping you here? You two broke up and the next step of your life is in New York. You can’t stay here forever. I know that Chloe is very vulnerable right now, but that’s because she’s hurt. She will need time to adjust to being away from you after such a long time, but she will heal and she will find someone else and who knows, maybe you’ll see eachother again at some point, but right now, I think that the best move for you is to find an apartment in New York and start packing your stuff.”

 

“But what if I can’t forget her? What if I just end up shutting everyone around me out again?” Beca ran a hand through her hair.

 

“If I have to come to New York and kick your ass, I will do it. I don’t care how famous you get.”

 

“Thanks Stace.” Beca chuckled a little. “You’re probably right. I need to do this and it’s not like I’ll never see her again. There will always be Bellas reunions and stuff.” She shrugged. “Really, thank you, Stacie.” Beca said softly. She heard the door open, signalling that Chloe was home again. “Okay, I need to go, bye.” Beca told Stacie before she quickly hung up, glancing over at the door. “Why are you back already?” Beca raised an eyebrow at Chloe.

 

“I shouldn’t have left.” Chloe pulled Beca into a hug against her will. “Considering all that has happened these last few days, I shouldn’t just leave like that. I’m so sorry, Becs…” She whispered the apology.

 

“Hey, Chlo… It’s fine. I’m okay.” Beca said, pulling away from Chloe. It hurt, but she knew that she need to create space between them before she ended up doing something that she would regret.

 

“Are you still moving to New York?” Chloe asked a little defeated as she watched Beca make two cups of coffee.

“Yeah.” Beca said, trying not to seem tired by the idea. The truth was, she didn’t really want to move because moving meant leaving Chloe behind and Beca wasn’t really sure that was something that she wanted to do. Beca kept telling herself that no dream comes without sacrifices, but she didn’t even believe herself. “I actually found an apartment today…” She said as she handed Chloe a cup of coffee

 

“Oh… When are you moving?” Chloe asked, quickly accepting the coffee.

 

“In three days…” Beca looked down into her cup as if the coffee would smack some sense into her.

 

“That’s… Soon…” Chloe said softly. She honestly wasn’t ready for Beca to just leave her in a few days. Chloe didn’t even know if she would see her again.

 

“I know, but it’s seriously the perfect apartment for me and I already said yes.” Beca walked into the bedroom to start packing her things. 

Chloe sat down on the couch, in an almost chocklike state. She didn’t understand how it could be this easy for Beca to just pack her things and leave after so long together. Chloe was annoyed that instead of trying to fix things, Beca just ran away. It was something that the younger girl had always done. 

Soon after they had started dating, Beca became convinced that it was all just a prank on her, broke up with Chloe and avoided the redhead for almost a month. Chloe was devastated when it happened, but atleast Beca didn’t pack her things and move halfway across the country just to get away from her.

 

After dinner, they had both sat down on the couch, just staring at the tv. Chloe had put on a movie but none of them had noticed anything going on in it. They had been busy glancing over at each other whenever the other person wasn’t looking. They weren’t happy about the idea of Beca leave in just a few days. Chloe wanted to look at Beca as much as she could before she left and Beca felt the same way, but they were scared. Scared to tell eachother. Scared to be rejected again. Scared that they would lose each other forever when Beca got on that plane. Chloe looked over at Beca, making eye contact with Beca.

 

“So this is it? This is the end of us?” Chloe asked softly.

 

“Yeah…” Beca nodded. She didn’t want to leave Chloe, but Beca knew that this was her shot.

 

“I’m gonna miss you.” Chloe whispered, moving closer to Beca.

 

“I’m gonna miss you too, Chlo.” Beca smiled a little, looking up at Chloe. Her eyes flicked down to Chloe’s lips and watched as they got closer to her own. “Chloe… This is a terrible idea.” Beca whispered, but kept leaning in slowly.

 

“I know.” Chloe whispered before she close the space between them, slowly moving her lips against Beca’s. She ran her hand up Beca’s side and let it rest on her cheek.

 

Beca let her hands fall to Chloe’s waist, pulling her closer until the redhead was straddling her. When Beca pulled away for air, she look up into Chloe’s eyes. “This is so wrong.” She said softly, running her thumb over Chloe’s cheek.

 

Chloe just nodded before she leaned in and kissed Beca again. She wanted to stop. Wanted to put some distance between them, but kissing Beca had always been her favourite thing in the world. Chloe knew that this was wrong. They both did, but none of them really made an effort to stop. Chloe knew that this would probably be the last time that she got to kiss Beca, so she wanted to make the most of it. Chloe tangled her hands in Beca’s hair, gently pulling her head back. She leaned down and kissed Beca’s neck.

 

Beca closed her eyes and let out a soft moan. All of her plans about creating distance and staying away from Chloe were gone from her mind. Beca felt Chloe’s lips move up her neck, to her jaw and then back to lips. Beca’s hands gripped onto Chloe’s hips, trying to pull her even closer as she deepened the kiss.

 

Chloe slowly pulled away, a little out of breath. “Beca…” She whispered. “We need to talk about this.” She stood up, moving off Beca’s lap. “This is wrong.” She took a deep breath and sat down next to Beca again.

 

“Yeah…” Beca nodded slowly. “But I don’t want to stop…”

 

“I don’t want to stop either.” Chloe looked over at her. “But this is just gonna make the next few days so much harder.” She shook her head a little. “I already don’t really want you to leave.”

 

“I just really want these last few days with you, Chloe.” Beca said softly. “I just want something other than I fight to remember us by.” She took Chloe’s hand.

 

“Okay…” Chloe smiled a little. She leaned forward and kissed Beca again.

 

Beca smiled against Chloe’s lips. She pulled away, wanting to look at Chloe. “You’re so beautiful.” She whispered.

 

Chloe leaned forward and kissed Beca again, trying to get her to shut up.

 

Beca pulled away again. “What a nice way to tell me to shut up.” She chuckled a little. “C’mon, let’s just go to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow.” Beca stood up.

 

Chloe nodded a little as she stood up. She wasn't ready to stop kissing Beca yet so she just followed her into the bedroom. They both undressed, trying not to look at each other, before they laid down. Chloe snuggled close to Beca, resting her head on the small girls chest. She draped her arm over Beca’s stomach. Chloe looked up at Beca with a small smile.

Beca smiled softly at her. She leaned down and kissed Chloe softly.

 

Chloe crawled on top of Beca, straddling her hips. She leaned down and kissed Beca deeply.

 

Beca rested her hands on Chloe’s hips.

 

Chloe kissed down Beca’s neck, gently biting a little.

 

“Chlo…” Beca moaned softly.

 

Chloe stopped and pulled away looking down at Beca. She was afraid that the brunette was already regretting it.

 

“Please don’t stop.” Beca whispered. She ran her hand up Chloe’s side, tangling it in her hair. 

 

Chloe smiled softly. She leaned down and kissed Beca again. When she kissed Beca, the whole world just disappeared around Chloe and she never wanted to be anywhere else. Chloe found out the first time that she kissed Beca. It was shortly after Aubrey had graduated and Chloe was on her last year for the second time, at first she wasn’t really sure why she had failed Russian Lit. It wasn't her favourite subject, but she knew stuff, she got good grades, so how did she fail her exam? Chloe had asked herself over and over until the night when she kissed Beca, the moment their lips found each others, she knew that this was it, this was everything that she had waited for and this was everything that she ever wanted and she would do whatever it took to stay there with Beca.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ Chloe had been dancing for way too long now. She didn’t know how long, but too many people around her had come and gone in the time that she had been dancing. The guys and girls here were alright, but a certain small brunette had been stuck in her head for too long now. The girl had never left her head, not since they met at the activities fair. Chloe never really cared whenever Aubrey would express her hatred for Beca, she would just nod and try to steer the conversation in a different direction. Chloe looked around, annoyed by the fact that Beca was nowhere to be found, Chloe had seen her arrive with Jesse, but hadn’t seen either of them since then. She wanted to hate Jesse for stealing Beca, she really did, but he was just such a nice guy. Since Aubrey left, Chloe had invited Beca to come live with her a little off campus and Beca had accepted quickly. Jesse had been around their apartment a few times now and Chloe hated that he took such good care of Beca, she hated that he was such a nice guy. If he had just been a dick, it would have been easier to hate him. But that was the thing, she didn’t hate  _ **_Jesse_ ** _ , she hated all the things that he did, how he would leave small notes around the apartment for Beca to find whenever he had early classes, she hated how he would get up whenever Chloe and Beca had early classes just to make them coffee and then go back to sleep, but most of all, she hated that he was the one who got to lay down next to Beca when the day was over. Chloe wanted to be the one to hold Beca at night, she wanted to be the one who made her coffee early in the morning and the one who got to love Beca and tell her. Chloe looked around the big house until she finally spotted Beca out in the yard with Jesse of course. She left the dancefloor and went out to them. _

 

_ “Hey, Becs, can I steal you for a minute?” Chloe asked with a smile. _

 

_ “Yeah, of course. I didn’t know that you were here.” Beca pulled Chloe into a hug before they went inside the house. “So, what’s up, Chlo?” She smiled _

 

_ Chloe took a deep breath. “I don’t want Jesse around the apartment anymore…” She looked over at Beca. “I need privacy to study and I can’t do that if he’s always there.” _

 

_ “I get it.” Beca nodded. “You don’t have to explain, Chlo. I’ve actually been thinking about breaking up with him… He’s just too sweet and clingy.” Beca smiled a little. “I rushed into that relationship because I thought that it was right, but now, after almost two years, it just feels wrong.” She shrugged. _

 

_ “Bec… Are you okay with this? I didn’t mean for you to breakup with him… I just… Needed space I guess.” _

 

_ “Don’t worry about it. I’ve actually been thinking about this for a long time now.” Beca pulled Chloe into a hug. She could see that the older girl felt like she was breaking them up. “I’ve been neglecting Bella’s practice and you a little too much.” Beca whispered. _

 

_ Chloe smiled at Beca when she pulled away from the hug.  _

 

_ “I’m gonna go talk to him… Meet you inside?” Beca smiled. _

 

_ “Sure.” Chloe nodded. She walked into the house. Chloe sat down next to the window and looked over at Beca and Jesse. _

 

_ “Hey, Jesse, can we talk?” Beca bit down on her lower lip. _

 

_ “Yeah, of course Becs! Is everything alright?” He tried to wrap his arm around her waist, but she quickly moved away. _

 

_ “We need to break up.” Beca said, looking down at her hands. _

 

_ “What? Why?” Jesse frowned. “Is this about Chloe? I’ve never liked how close you two are.” _

 

_ “No, Jesse, stop it. This has nothing to do with Chloe. This is about us.” Beca sighed. She knew that was a lie. Of course it was about Chloe. It had always been about Chloe. Ever since they met, Beca had wanted to be with Chloe but she never tried, because why would Chloe be interested in someone like her? So she went for Jesse. It was safe and it was nice, but safe and nice wasn’t what Beca wanted anymore. She wanted adventure, she wanted something new, she wanted Chloe. _

 

_ “Beca” Jesse sighed. “I’ve seen how you look at her. Do something about it.”  _

 

_ Beca nodded a little. “Thank you for understanding.” _

 

_ Jesse pulled Beca into a hug and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Promise that you’ll still watch movies with me?” _

 

_ “Dude, no” Beca laughed. “I only did it for you. Make Benji watch them with you.” _

 

_ “Fine.” Jesse crossed his arms, pretending to be hurt. “Go get your girl.” He smiled.   _

 

_ “Again, thank you Jesse.” Beca smiled softly before she went inside to find Chloe. _

 

_ “Well, that didn’t really look like a breakup.” The redhead came up behind her. “You sure that he knows that you broke up with him?” She chuckled a little. _

 

_ “Yeah.” Beca nodded. “He knows.” Knows that Beca is in love with Chloe. He’s known for a long time. It wasn’t that hard to notice the way Beca lit up once Chloe entered a room, the way she would smile whenever someone mentioned the redhead. _

 

_ “We have a Bella’s meeting tomorrow, so we should probably get home and get some sleep.” Chloe smiled. _

 

_ Beca just nodded and followed Chloe out. _

  
  
  


_ Soon after Beca had gone to bed, she felt Chloe lay down next to her. The redhead had her own bed, but preferred to sleep next to Beca whenever Jesse weren’t there. Chloe slipped an arm over Beca’s stomach and pulled her close. She buried her face in the back of Beca’s neck.  _

 

_ “Are you okay, Becs?” Chloe whispered as she felt Beca’s shoulders tense up. _

 

_ “Yeah, I’m fine.” Beca turned to face Chloe. _

 

_ “I’m sorry about Jesse.” Chloe reached out and stroked Beca’s cheek. _

 

_ “Don’t be. I think that I’ve been looking for an excuse to break up with him for a long time. We haven’t really been a couple the last four months.” Beca looked into Chloe’s eyes. _

 

_ “So you haven’t…” _

 

_ “No.” Beca shook her head a little. “We haven’t had sex in four months.” _

 

_ “Why not?” Chloe asked softly. She was afraid that it was her fault. She never let Beca and Jesse have the apartment to them self, mostly because she hated the thought that Beca would be intimate with anyone. Chloe wanted Beca all to herself. _

 

_ Beca shrugged. “It just always felt wrong. I was never really ready or in the mood for anything. It’s not like I didn’t try.” She sighed. “I really tried…” Beca didn’t notice the tears on her cheeks until Chloe reached up and wiped them away. _

 

_ “Beca, shhhh. It’s okay.” Chloe pulled Beca into a hug. “I’ve got you, Beca.” She placed a kiss on the top of the brunette’s head. After a while, Chloe felt Beca’s breathing steady and heard a slight snore from her. Chloe stayed awake for a little longer, making sure that Beca was asleep. _

  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  


“Are you sure that this is what you want?” Chloe asked softly as she took Beca’s bags from the car and onto the curb in front of the airport.

 

“Yeah…” Beca nodded. “I have to do this.” She grabbed her bags from Chloe.

 

Chloe nodded a little and helped Beca inside. “So, this is it…” She said softly.

 

“It is.” Beca looked down at the floor.

 

“I’m gonna miss you, Becs.” Chloe gave Beca a sweet kiss before the brunette walked through the gates to board her plane. She didn’t even notice that she was crying before a man next to her handed her a piece of paper. 

 

“You seem like you could use a drink and someone to talk to.” He chuckled a little. 

 

Chloe accepted the paper and quickly dried her tears. She looked over at him and smiled a little. Chloe had to admit that he didn’t look terrible. “If I had a choice, I’d probably take the drink instead of the talk.” She ran a hand through her hair. 

 

“So, is your girlfriend going away for a long time?” He asked with a small smile and what Chloe thought sounded like hope in his voice. 

 

“Uhm, she’s actually not my girlfriend. We broke up a week ago and she just needed someone to drive her here. She’s going to New York to live out her dreams.”

 

“And she’s just leaving you behind? Wow, you’re way too beautiful to be crying alone in an airport.” He stepped a little closer to her. 

 

“Well, thank you.” Chloe glanced down at her own hands for a second. “So, about that drink. I believe that you were about to buy me one?” She laughed a little. 

 

“You’re right. I was.” He smiled. “I’m Chicago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Chigaco *probably* isn't staying long ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so late, I am so sorry guys.  
> I started school again and I've just been so busy omg.
> 
> Anyway, the song in this chapter is "You are the reason" - Calum Scott

Four months. That’s how long it took for Chloe to even get a little over Beca and agree to a real date with Chicago, who had finally told her his real name, Matthew Walp. Chloe liked him, but he wasn’t Beca. He was cute and sweet, but it just wasn’t enough for her, she wanted more than cute and sweet. She wanted adventure and she wanted to relax on the couch for a whole weekend without feeling like she was doing something wrong whenever he went to the gym. So when he one day asked if she wanted to move in with him, Chloe just panicked and said yes. If she had to be completely honest, she didn’t want to move in with him. It’s not that there was something wrong with him, but he was nothing special. He was just a regular guy.

When she finally moved in, Chloe hated herself for saying yes. She hated his apartment and she wasn’t sure that she even liked him anymore. 

Now, two years into their relationship, Chloe was on summer break from veterinary school and they had agreed to go on a vacation together and go see his parents. Chloe had met them before, and she was fine with her summer break being spend in Alexandria, Virginia. Just a few hours after they arrived, Matthew had already left to go fishing with his dad and Chloe was alone with his mother, Alice, in the kitchen.

 

“Chloe, we are so happy that you and Matt found each other. I’ve never seen him happier than he is around you.” Alice smiled. 

 

“Thank you… I really like him.” Chloe forced a smile onto her lips as Alice hugged her.

 

“So any plans for marriage and kids?” Alice asked as she turned her back on Chloe to make dinner. 

 

Chloe almost just laughed at her. She could never see herself marrying a guy like Matt. He was just too plain and boring. “Uhm, no, not really… I don’t really think I’m ready for anything.”   
  


“Oh. Matthew told us that you were in very long relationship before you met him…” Alice said quietly. Chloe just nodded a little. “Why don’t you turn on the radio, honey?” Alice smiled over at Chloe. 

The redhead went into the living room and turned on the radio. She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes, leaning her head back a little. She had to break up with him. Chloe couldn’t do this little “happy housewife” pretend anymore. She hated it. Chloe let out a sigh and tried to calm herself by focusing on the radio

 

_ “And now, the newest hit that you’ve all been waiting for. The youngest breakthrough artist at the moment. Here is Beca Mitchell with ‘You are the reason’.” _

Chloe quickly sat up when she heard Beca’s name. She did it. Beca finally did it. Chloe turned up the volume as the opening chords started. Chloe sat back down on the couch and closed her eyes, letting Beca’s voice and the lyrics fill her head.

  
  


_ There goes my heart beating _

_ 'Cause you are the reason _

_ I'm losing my sleep _

_ Please come back now _

_ And there goes my mind racing _

_ And you are the reason _

_ That I'm still breathing _

_ I'm hopeless now _

  
  


_ I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ Oh, 'cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

  
  


_ There goes my hands shaking _

_ And you are the reason _

_ My heart keeps bleeding _

_ I need you now _

_ If I could turn back the clock _

_ I'd make sure the light defeated the dark _

_ I'd spend every hour of every day _

_ Keeping you safe _

  
  


_ I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ Oh, 'cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

  
  


_ I don't want to fight no more _

_ I don't want to hide no more _

_ I don't want to cry no more come back, I need you to hold me _

_ (You are the reason) _

_ A little closer now, just a little closer now _

_ Come a little closer, I need you to hold me tonight _

  
  


_ I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ 'Cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

  
  


When the music came to a slow stop, Chloe opened her eyes and wiped a few tears with the back of her hand. She knew that the odds that the lyrics were about her were extremely small, but it felt like she was reliving their whole relationship over again. Chloe knew that she had to break up with Matt. She needed to find Beca. When she heard the front door open, Chloe quickly turned down the volume and calmed herself.

 

“Chloe?” Matt yelled from the kitchen.

 

Chloe got up from the couch and followed the sound of his voice. “Yeah?” She asked, not looking up at him. 

 

“There you are.” Matt smiled, pulling Chloe into a hug. He looked down at her, noticing her sniffle and slightly red eyes. “Hey, are you alright? Have you been crying?” He pulled her into the living room. “Chloe, have you been crying?” He asked again and Chloe just nodded. “Honey…” He said softly. “What’s wrong?”

 

Chloe took a deep breath. “I heard Beca’s song on the radio… I think that it was about me.” She said softly.

 

“Chloe…” Matt sighed. “It’s been two years and five months since I saw you in that airport. She’s not writing songs about you. You’ll just have to realize that and move on, okay?”

 

Chloe shook her head. “I can’t do this..” She mumbled. Chloe got up and went up to their room.

 

“C’mon, Chloe!” Matt groaned, following her. “What’s going on?”

 

Chloe grabbed her suitcase and started packing her things as Matt kept talking.

 

“Is this seriously just because I told you to get over it? C’mon! I thought that you were done with her!” He raised his voice a little.

 

Chloe ignored him and kept packing her things.

 

“Chloe!” Matt yelled, grabbing her wrist. “Talk to me!”

 

“Get off me!” Chloe pushed him away. 

 

“Then tell me what the fuck is going on with you!” Matt threw his hands up in frustration before slamming one of his fists down on the table. “Talk to me, Chloe!”

 

“I need to go, okay? This is over! We’re over!” Chloe gestured between them with her hand. “I can’t do this anymore.”

 

Matt’s face softened as Chloe spoke. “What?” He almost whispered. “You’re just gonna leave?”

 

Chloe nodded a little. “I’m sorry, Matt, but this was never going to work.” She sat down on the bed.

 

“Is this because her song was on the radio?” Matt scoffed. “We heard it on the way back. It’s not about you, Chloe.” He shook his head. “Why the hell would she write about you after two years? She probably haven’t even thought about you in forever.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m so much better for you than she ever was.”

 

“Shut up!” Chloe yelled at him. She shot up from the bed and tried to push him away, but he didn’t move. “You never knew her! You know nothing about her!” Chloe kept trying to push him, but she was too weak. “She was so much better for me than you are!”

 

“I know that she was the one that made you want to cut yourself.” Matt said calmly. “You know, there’s a reason that I hate looking at you whenever you take your clothes off. That’s her fault.”

 

“Beca had nothing to do with that and you know it!” Chloe was getting so angry that he didn’t understand that she wanted to leave. “You need to leave me alone.”

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when you realize that she doesn’t like you anymore.” Matt said as he walked out of the room.

 

Chloe took a deep breath as she sat down on the bed. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly found Aubrey’s number. Chloe knew that Aubrey were spending her vacation with her parents 30 minutes away in McLean, Virginia. She felt herself calm down when she heard Aubrey’s voice.

 

“Aubrey Posen.”

 

“Oh my god, I’ve never been so happy to hear your voice before.” Chloe said softly.

 

“Chloe! Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much!” Aubrey squealed.

 

“I’ve missed you too, Aubrey” Chloe chuckled softly. “I - uh… I actually called to ask you for a favor…”

 

“Chloe, are you okay?” Aubrey asked softly. She could hear in Chloe’s voice and hesitation, that something was wrong.

 

“Could you come pick me up?” Chloe asked softly. “Matt and I were staying with his parents, but I just broke up with him and I really need to get away from here.”

 

“Of course! Chlo, I’ll leave now.” Aubrey said softly.

 

“Thank you.” Chloe whispered before she hung up. She just sat on the bed and stared into the mirror. After a few minutes, Chloe stood up and wiped what was left of her makeup off. Chloe finished packing and snuck down as quietly as possible. 

 

“Chloe! Where are you off to, honey?” Alice asked from behind her. 

 

Chloe stopped and slowly turned around. “I-uhm…” She bit down on her lower lip, trying to come up with an excuse. Chloe took a deep breath. “I broke up with Matt and I need to get out of here.” She looked out the window.

 

“I thought that you loved my son?” Alice looked at her with a frown.

 

“I did… But I still love my ex too and I need to sort some things out.” Chloe sighed.

 

“Matthew never listens to me. I warned him when he told me that you had been with a woman…” Alice shook her head a little.

 

Chloe frowned, lifting an eyebrow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Those kind of people always go back.” 

 

“Are you serious right now? I’m not gay, not that it would change anything. I like men and I like women. I don’t favor one over the other. I go for personalities and I’m sorry, but your son has a shitty personality. He literally hit on me not two seconds are Beca left. I told him for four months that I wasn’t ready for anything but he kept pushing! Every single day he tried and I hated it! He goes out with his military buddies and comes home drunk and just wants to get off! Yeah, you heard right! Your ‘sweet’ son forced me to have sex with him because he was drunk! He raped me. More than once!” Chloe could feel tears building in her eyes. “I have to go…” Chloe stormed out of the door and threw her things into Aubrey’s car. She quickly got in the car and looked out at the house.

 

“Chloe, are you okay?” Aubrey asked softly.

 

“Please just drive.” Chloe whispered.

 

Aubrey nodded a little and drove towards her parents house. “If you need to talk, I’m here for you, Chloe.” She glanced over at the redhead.

 

Chloe shook her head. “I need to get on a plane to New York and find Beca… I need to talk to her.”

 

“Chloe…” Aubrey sighed. “Do you really think that’s the best idea right now? I mean… You’re sad and vulnerable right now.”

 

“Aubrey, please stop. I just need to see her. I need to know that she’s okay.” Chloe looked over at her.

 

“Alright. Tell me if you need any help.” Aubrey said softly.

 

Chloe nodded. “I need to find out where she lives… Do you know anything? Have you talked to her these past years?”

 

“Not really…” Aubrey bit down on her lower lip. She hated lying to Chloe, but this time, she had to. Aubrey couldn’t tell her that she had talked to Beca often. After Beca left, she made a deal with Aubrey that the blonde would send updates on how Chloe was doing and what was going on in her life.

 

_______________________________

 

**_Three years ago_ **

 

“Beca Mitchell, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” Aubrey groaned into the phone.

 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry… I didn’t realize… Timezones.” Beca sighed.

 

“Cut to the chase, Mitchell. I wanna go back to sleep.” Aubrey yawned.

 

“Yes… Could you send me updates on how Chloe’s doing? I mean… Not like all the time, but just whenever something happens. I just need to know that she’s alright and that she’s living her life.” Beca bit down on her lower lip.

 

“Beca…” Aubrey sighed. “Do you really think that’s such a good idea?”

 

“Aubrey, I really don’t wanna argue with you right now… Please just do it.” Beca said softly.

 

“Fine.” Aubrey whispered. “I’ll do it.”

 

“Thank you so much, Aubrey.” Beca smiled. “Also, sorry for waking you up! Goodnight!” She hung up the phone and leaned back on the couch in her new apartment. It wasn’t huge, but she didn’t have much yet.

 

________

 

The first update came five weeks after Beca had called Aubrey.

 

**Aubrey Posen - 3:17 PM**

_ So, it’s been just about 6 weeks since you left her.  _

_ She broke down completely. _

_ I haven't seen her in 5 weeks. _

_ She still lives in the apartment. _

_ Call her. Tell her that it’s alright to move on. _

 

But Beca didn’t call. She was afraid. Afraid that hearing Chloe’s voice would break her. Afraid that hearing Chloe’s voice would make her pack her things and move back home. Beca couldn’t afford that. She had to live her dream now.

 

The next update came four months after the first.

 

**Aubrey Posen - 11:05 AM**

_ Chloe met a guy. _

_ They had a drink together after you left and _

_ they went on their first real date yesterday. _

_ He’s a sweet guy. _

 

Beca could feel her heart drop when she read the message. Chloe was in a new relationship? It just felt weird to read those words ‘Chloe met a guy’. I seemed so wrong. Beca went into her contacts on her phone and let her finger hover over Chloe’s number. Should she call? No. Beca promised herself when she left that she would let Chloe live her life.

  
  


The updates from Aubrey suddenly stopped. Nothing was new in Chloe’s life. She met the guy and went out with him. They moved in together and that was it. At least Beca thought that was it until her new song was played in the radio and Aubrey texted her again.

 

**Aubrey Posen - 5:58 PM**

_ They broke up. _

_ Chloe heard your song on the radio  _

_ and she’s sure that it’s about her. _

_ Call her. Tell her how you’re doing. _

_ Invite her to New York to see your show or something. _

 

Beca couldn't describe how happy she was to read that message. But call her? No. Beca was still afraid that Chloe would break her. Afraid that Chloe was too vulnerable to listen to her right now.

 

**Aubrey Posen - 7:37 PM**

_ I just talked to Chloe. She’s coming to New York _


	6. Chapter 6

It had been two hours since she got the message, but Beca was still staring at her phone. Chloe was coming to New York? What the hell was she going to do? Her apartment was a mess and her life was even messier right now. What if Chloe was coming to yell at her for writing the song? What if she was coming to yell at Beca for abandoning her? Beca’s train of thought was interrupted as her phone rang. Aubrey’s picture lit up on Beca’s phone as she picked up.

 

“Beca, have you even seen my message? Chloe is coming to New York. Now would be a great time to call her!” Aubrey was clearly annoyed.

 

“Yeah… I-I saw it. I just don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do…” Beca sighed.

 

“Call her!” Aubrey said. “Invite her to stay with you. Talk to her.” 

 

“No, Aubrey… You don’t understand. I can’t talk to her right now. She’s gonna murder me for leaving her.”

 

“Beca.” Aubrey sighed. “She’s gonna understand. She still loves you. She is literally flying to New York just to see you. It’s gonna be fine.”

 

“Fine…” Beca whispered. She was still unsure. She was still afraid that Chloe was mad at her and was coming only to make her feel bad. Beca hung up and dialed Chloe’s number. She had deleted it after a year in New York, but she could never forget it. She listened to the beep of the call until it was picked up.

 

“Hello?” Chloe said into the phone. She had been about to reject the call when she saw Beca’s picture along with her phone number.

 

“Hey… It’s Beca… Aubrey told me that you were coming to New York, and I just wanted to offer you to stay with me.” Beca said. She felt like her heart was ready to pop out of her chest. The few seconds it took Chloe to answer, felt like hours and Beca was afraid that she would be rejected or that she had to ask again.

 

“Becs…” Chloe whispered. Even after 2 years and five months apart, the nickname felt so natural to Chloe. “Are you sure about that? I don’t wanna intrude.”

 

“Yeah, I have enough room.” Beca chuckled a little. “I bought a house with my first paycheck.” She said.

 

“Wow… That must have been a pretty big paycheck.” Chloe said.

 

Beca chuckled a little. “I do just fine.” She paused a little. “So, when are you coming?”

 

“Well, I’m actually at the airport right now. I just bought my ticket and the plane leaves in two hours.” Chloe said. “You can just text me your address, and I’ll find a cab.”

 

“No, no, I’ll come pick you up.” Beca said. She was happy that she was seeing Chloe again, but she was afraid that none of them were the same anymore. Afraid that it would turn into a huge fight, but it was a risk. “When does your flight land?”

 

“1:30 am” Chloe said. “It’s late… I’m fine with taking a cab, Beca.” She looked up at the arrivals board.

 

“Don’t discuss it with me, Chloe. I’m picking you up... “ Beca chuckled a little. “I’ll see you tonight.” She said before she hang up.

 

Chloe sighed as she put her phone away. She was excited to see Beca, but afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same for her as she did three years ago and at the same time she was afraid that nothing had changed and she still felt the exact same. When Chloe had boarded the plane she couldn’t help but think about the first time she picked Beca up in the airport and Beca met her family.

 

________________________________

  
  


_ Beca was incredibly nervous when she said goodbye to her dad in the airport. It was summer break before Beca’s junior year and Chloe’s third senior year in college and she had promised to come visit Chloe at her parents house. They had been dating for just over a year and she was meeting Chloe’s family for the first time, Her own dad and stepmother didn’t even know that they were dating. Beca had kept it a secret from them because she knew that they would go crazy over the fact that she was dating a girl. She hated that she had to keep lying to them, but she knew that they wouldn’t have let her go if they knew about their relationship. _

_ As soon as she got on the plane, Beca sent Chloe a text telling her when she would be landing. Beca turned off her phone and leaned back in the seat. She fell asleep almost as soon as the plane took off and didn’t wake up before a flight attendant tapped her shoulder to tell her that they had landed. Beca got out of the plane and went to baggage claim to pick up her suitcase. As soon as she had it, she went through the doors and tried to spot Chloe. _

 

_ - _

 

_ Chloe stood with the biggest smile, waiting for the doors to open and for Beca come over to her. She peeked over everyone’s shoulders every time the doors opened, until finally she saw she short brunette with her suitcase. Chloe ran forward and threw her arms around Beca, almost tackling her. Chloe felt Beca bury her head in her should. She took a deep breath.  _

 

_ “I missed you so much, Becs.” Chloe whispered. She pulled away from the hug and looked at Beca. _

 

_ “I missed you too.” Beca said softly. “Let’s go. I wanna get you out of those clothes.” She winked. _

 

_ Chloe laughed as she took Beca’s hand. “Yeah, that’s gonna have to wait. My parents are already waiting for us.” She said as they walked to the car. _

 

_ “Seriously? I have to wait until tonight to tear your clothes off?” Beca whined. _

 

_ “Seriously.” Chloe said. “I don’t like it either, but that’s how it is. At least we get to sleep in the same room.” She opened the car door. “Last time my brothers girlfriend visited they made them sleep in separate rooms so he wouldn’t get her pregnant.” _

 

_ “Well, lucky that none of us has a dick then.” Beca chuckled as she got in the car. When Chloe got in and started the car, Beca looked over at her. “Can’t we just find a bathroom somewhere?” _

 

_ “Beca, I’m not having sex with you in a bathroom.” Chloe chuckled as she drove towards her parents house. Beca sighed and looked out the window. When they arrived, Chloe parked and looked over at Beca. She leaned over and kissed her deeply. “Come on. Let’s go inside.” She said softly. Beca nodded and got out of the car. They walked to the front door with their fingers laced together. Chloe opened the door and lead Beca inside where they were immediately greeted by Chloe’s mom. _

 

_ “You must be Beca. I’m Susan, Chloe’s mom.” Susan said with a smile. “Welcome to Portland.” She said. _

 

_ “Thank you.” Beca smiled. She could see where Chloe got her positivity from. Beca felt a little awkward standing there in her Barden hoodie and yoga pants while Chloe and her mom was wearing summer dresses.  _

_ Chloe’s dad heard the noise from the front door and went to check on his wife when he saw Beca. “So you’re the one who’s been running off with my little girl, huh?” He folded his arms over his chest. _

 

_ “Dad, come on.” Chloe smacked his arm. Be nice to her.” She said. “Becs, this is my dad, Robert.” Chloe said.  _

 

_ Beca smiled a little over at the man. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Beale.” She said. _

 

_ Robert laughed a little. “She’s polite too!” He said to his wife. “You can just call me Robert, Beca.” He smiled. _

 

_ “I’m gonna take Beca up to my room and let her unpack.” Chloe said, taking Beca’s hand. She lead her upstairs. “This is the bathroom” She pointed at the door. “And across from that is my brother and my sisters room and at the end of the hall is my old room and my parents room.” Chloe lead her down the hall and into her old bedroom. She put Beca’s suitcase at the foot of the bed and sat down. She watched as Beca walked around the room, looking at all the old photos on the walls. Chloe laid down on the bed. _

 

_ Beca moved over to to the bed and got on top of Chloe, straddling her hips. “Hey beautiful.” She smiled. Beca leaned down and kissed Chloe deeply. She slipped her hand under Chloe’s shirt, slowly pushing it up until it was bunched up under her arms. Beca pulled away and looked at Chloe. “Damn, I’ve missed you over the summer.” She said before she pulled Chloe’s shirt off. _

 

_ “Baby…” Chloe whispered. “We don’t have time for this.” _

 

_ Beca leaned down and kissed her again. “Shhh.” She whispered between kisses. _

 

_ “Becs.” Chloe said against Beca’s lips. “My siblings are gonna be here soon.” She sat up, still with Beca on her lap. Chloe kissed her softly. “We have to get ready.” She put her shirt back on. _

 

_ “Fine” Beca grumbled. She stood up and opened her suitcase. She grabbed a shirt, a pair of jeans and got dressed. _

 

_ “Why are you changing?” Chloe asked. “Your ass looks great in the yoga pants.” _

 

_ “I felt a little underdressed in my hoodie.” Beca shrugged. “And thank you.” She winked. “If you’re lucky, you’ll see more of my ass later.” _

 

_ “Oh, I’m lucky!” Chloe chuckled. She stood up and fixed her hair when she heard the doorbell. “You ready to meet my siblings?”  _

 

_ “No, not at all. Do you promise to save me if I panic?” Beca sighed. _

 

_ “Of course.” Chloe kissed Beca softly. “Come on, we should probably get downstairs before my mom comes up here.” She chuckled and took Beca’s hand.  _

 

_ Beca stopped right before they reached the living room. “Could you just go first?” She whispered. _

 

_ “Yeah.” Chloe nodded. She went inside the living room with Beca following her. Chloe’s younger sister Emily came running towards her and hugged her. _

 

_ “Oh my god, Chloe! We missed you so much!” Emily said. “Noah!” She turned to her twin. “Come here and tell Chloe how much you missed her!” Noah just shrugged. _

 

_ “You little shit” Chloe laughed. “Come here and hug your sister.” She stood with her arms open. Noah reluctantly stood up and went to hug Chloe. She smiled and planted a kiss on his forehead. Noah quickly turned away and wiped his forehead. _

 

_ “Gross.” Noah said as he sat down again. “Weren’t you bringing a boyfriend or something so you could stop kissing me?”  _

 

_ “Well…” Chloe chuckled slightly. “I did bring someone.” She turned her head to look at Beca who was leaning against the wall. Chloe motioned for Beca to come closer. The brunette stood next to her. “This is Beca, my girlfriend.” Chloe wrapped her arm around Beca’s waist, holding her close. _

 

_ “Wait, your girlfriend?” Emily asked. “You’re gay?” _

 

_ Chloe shook her head. “No, I’m bi.”  _

 

_ “Oh…” Emily nodded. “How long have you two been together?” _

 

_ “A little over a year.” Chloe looked over at Beca who just nodded. _

 

_ “And you didn’t tell us?” Emily threw a pillow at Chloe. “Mom, did you know?” _

 

_ Their mom, Susan, stuck her head out from the kitchen and nodded “Yeah. I’ve known for four months.” _

 

_ “Sorry, Em.” Chloe laughed. “If you and Noah knew how to pick up your phones when I call, you would know too.” She looked over at her brother. _

 

_ “Beca? Could I get your help in the kitchen?” Susan asked. Beca quickly went out there to avoid having to talk to Emily and Noah. _

 

_ Chloe folded her arms over her chest. “Noah, quit staring at her, she’s nervous enough already.” _

 

_ Noah looked up at Chloe. “I just can’t believe that you never told us and then you just bring her here.” He said _

 

_ “Well, get used to it.” Chloe shrugged. She went out to the kitchen but stopped herself from going inside when she heard her mother and Beca. _

  
  


_ “You’re the first person that Chloe has ever brought home. She must really like you.” Susan said. _

 

_ “I really  hope so. I love your daughter, Mrs. Beale” Beca said softly. Chloe had never heard those words come out of Beca’s mouth before. She took a step into the kitchen. _

 

_ “I love you too, Becs.” Chloe said softly. She wrapped her arms around the small girl’s waist and kissed her softly. Beca deepened the kiss, holding tightly onto Chloe _

 

_ “Now, just because you’re both girls, doesn’t mean that you get to make out in my kitchen.” Susan swatted Chloe’s arm. _

 

_ “Sorry mom.” Chloe laughed a little as she pulled away from Beca. Susan shook her head as she left the kitchen. _

 

_ “Didn’t you say that you had an older brother too?” Beca asked. _

 

_ “Yeah.” Chloe nodded. “David. He’s three years older than me.” _

 

_ “Is he coming this weekend?” Beca looked up at Chloe. _

 

_ “No, he only comes home for christmas.” Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca again. _

 

_ “So David is three years older than you… What about Noah and Emily?” Beca rested her head against Chloe’s shoulder. _

 

_ “They’re twins and they’re 5 years younger than me.” Chloe said. She was happy that Beca was so open about getting to know her family. The Beale family meant everything to Chloe. They were a rock that she could always depend on. Even when she failed college, they were supportive. She couldn’t wait for Beca to see that side of them. She couldn’t wait for Beca to be apart of her family and for them to someday make a family of their own. _

 

When Chloe’s plane landed, she quickly got out, somehow both excited and terrified to see Beca again.  She picked up her bags and walked through the doors out to the terminal. She looked around and quickly spotted Beca, standing with a sign in her hands with Chloe’s name on and a huge smile on her face. When Chloe came close, Beca opened her arms and wrapped them around the redhead. Chloe held tightly onto Beca and rested her head on her shoulder. It felt wrong, but still so right after so many years. When she pulled away from the hug, Chloe smiled softly at Beca.

 

“Hi.” Beca whispered. “It’s good to see you again, Chlo.”

 

“Hi.” Chloe smiled. “It’s good to see you too, Becs.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another update! To anyone still following this story THANK YOU!
> 
> As always, flashbacks is in cursive.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this chapter are:  
> Christina Perri - The lonely  
> Halsey - Sorry

The ride back to Beca’s house was terribly silent and long. Chloe wanted to talk, she just didn’t know what to say. There was so many things she wanted to tell Beca and so many things she wanted to ask her, but she just didn’t know how to say it all. The music in the car was turned on and Chloe was happy that it was. It provided her with a distraction. A way to keep herself from asking a million questions. Ever so often, she would glance over at Beca who was so cute and focused when she was driving, but still not too focused to sing softly along to the music. That was one of the things that Chloe had always loved about Beca, no matter where they were, no matter what they were doing, Beca always sang along to whatever music was playing.

 

“So, here we are.” Beca said as she parked. 

 

“Wow…” Chloe whispered as she looked up at the house, a beautiful two story house with a small garden outfront.

 

“Yeah… It’s a pretty great place.” Beca said. “C’mon, I’ll show you the inside.” Beca got out of the car and grabbed Chloe’s bags.

 

“I can carry my own bags, Beca.” Chloe chuckled.

 

“Forget it. You’re a guest.” Beca smiled as she opened the door to the house and let Chloe inside.

 

“Wow.” Chloe said again. The house was even more beautiful inside. She ran her finger over one of the picture frames with a Barden Bellas picture in it. Chloe instantly recognized that the picture was from when they won the Acapella World Championships in Copenhagen against the stupid german group. Next to it, a picture from one of her and Beca’s first dates. “You kept this?” Chloe asked softly as she looked at the picture. It had always been her favourite picture of her and Beca.

 

“Well, yeah.” Beca shrugged. “Our relationship meant a lot to me.”

 

“Then why did you leave?” Chloe whispered. She didn’t want to look at Beca.

 

“Chlo…” Beca sighed. “You know why I left. I had to go.” She said. “I had to focus on my own life and my own career.” 

 

“I know…” Chloe said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

 

“It’s fine, Chlo.” Beca smiled slightly. “C’mon. I’ll show you the rest of the house.” 

 

Beca showed Chloe every room in the house, including her own bedroom, the guestroom and the soundproofed recording studio that she had set up. Chloe studied every room like she would have to recreate it from memory. She just wanted to remember everything about Beca’s life when she left.

 

“Thank you for letting me stay here.” Chloe said softly.

 

“It’s no big deal.” Beca said. “I have enough room, so there’s no reason for you to stay at a hotel.” She went into the kitchen and made them both a cup of coffee. Chloe sat down on the couch, waiting for Beca. When she came back, Beca sat on the other end of the couch and handed Chloe her coffee.

 

“So, how have you been, Becs?” Chloe asked.

 

“Well, pretty good. It took awhile for something to happen in my career and the first year I basically just played on the streets and wherever someone would book me. I played a lot of children parties.” Beca chuckled. “At one of the parties, I met a producer who promised to help me put out my first single. It just turned out that he wasn’t as big of a deal as he said, so the song basically took me nowhere. I started posting my music on youtube and suddenly another producer contacted me and we ended up creating my newest song and it just took off. They play it on the radio.” She said proudly.

 

“I know, I heard it.” Chloe said softly. “It’s amazing, Beca.” 

 

“Thanks.” Beca smiled. “I wanted the first song that I put out to really mean something.” She looked over at Chloe. “I-uh… I actually wrote shortly after I moved here… It’s about you…” Beca said softly.

 

“Wait, are you serious? You wrote a song about me?” Chloe asked.

 

“I wrote more than one.” Beca said. 

 

“Can I hear one?” Chloe asked carefully. She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and maybe Beca never wanted her to hear them.

 

“Sure…” Beca nodded. She stood up, grabbed a USB stick from her desk and handed it to Chloe. “This is the demo videos that I sent the producer. They’re all filmed the studio upstairs.”

 

“Thanks.” Chloe smiled. She looked down at the USB stick labeled with ‘SONGS FOR HER’

 

“I’m actually considering naming the first album that.” Beca said. “Because, as my producer pointed out, I can’t seem to write a song that isn’t about you.”

 

“Becs…” Chloe whispered. “It’s been almost 3 years… Are you still writing about me?”

 

“Yes…” Beca nodded. “But it’s not all sad and edgy anymore. There are songs about the good times we’ve had.” She said.

 

“I don’t know what to say to this…” Chloe whispered. “Do you want us to be together again?”

 

“I…” Beca took a deep breath. “I don’t know…” 

 

“Well, if you’re gonna keep writing songs about me, you’re gonna have to figure it out.” Chloe said. “I’m pretty tired, so I’m gonna go to bed now.” She stood up with the USB in her hand. “Good night, Beca.” She walked upstairs to the guest room and began unpacking her suitcase. The truth was, she wasn’t all that tired, she just really needed to get away from Beca right now. The girl had been writing songs about her for 3 years. It was beginning to feel strange. Chloe felt like she had to throw up, but kept it down. She grabbed an old hoodie, her laptop and headphones before she laid down in the bed. Chloe connected the USB and opened the first video labeled ‘The lonely’. When the video started, Chloe saw Beca sitting in the studio behind a piano.

 

“My name is Beca Mitchell, and this song is called ‘The Lonely’.” She smiled slightly into the camera as she began to play

 

**_2am; where do I begin_ **

**_Crying off my face again_ **

**_The silent sound of loneliness_ **

**_Wants to follow me to bed_ **

 

**_I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most_ **

**_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well_ **

 

**_Dancing slowly in an empty room_ **

**_Can the lonely take the place of you?_ **

**_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_ **

**_Let you go and let the lonely in_ **

**_To take my heart again_ **

 

**_Too afraid to go inside_ **

**_For the pain of one more loveless night_ **

**_Cause the loneliness will stay with me_ **

**_And hold me till I fall asleep_ **

 

**_I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most_ **

**_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well_ **

 

**_Dancing slowly in an empty room_ **

**_Can the lonely take the place of you?_ **

**_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_ **

**_Let you go and let the lonely in_ **

**_To take my heart again_ **

 

**_Broken pieces of_ **

**_A barely breathing story_ **

**_Where there once was love_ **

**_Now there's only me_ **

**_And the lonely_ **

 

**_Dancing slowly in an empty room_ **

**_Can the lonely take the place of you?_ **

**_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_ **

**_Let you go and let the lonely in_ **

**_To take my heart again_ **

 

When the song ended, Beca looked up at the camera again. She gave a small smile before the video ended.

 

Chloe closed the video and wiped away a tear that had made it’s way down her its way down her cheek. She was almost afraid to open the next one, but at the same time, she wanted to see what Beca had made. She wanted to see what she had inspired.

 

The next video opened with the same shot with Beca sitting behind a piano. “My name is Beca Mitchell, and this song is called ‘Sorry’.” She said before she started playing

 

**_I've missed your calls for months it seems_ **

**_Don't realize how mean I can be_ **

**_'Cause I can sometimes treat the people_ **

**_That I love like jewelry_ **

**_'Cause I can change my mind each day_ **

**_I didn't mean to try you on_ **

**_But I still know your birthday_ **

**_And your mother's favorite song_ **

 

**_So I'm sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really_ **

**_Starts to fall in love with me_ **

**_Sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry I could be so blind_ **

**_Didn't mean to leave you_ **

**_And all of the things that we had behind_ **

**_Ooh_ **

**_Ooh_ **

**_Ooh_ **

 

**_I run away when things are good_ **

**_And never really understood_ **

**_The way you laid your eyes on me_ **

**_In ways that no one ever could_ **

**_And so it seems I broke your heart_ **

**_My ignorance has struck again_ **

**_I failed to see it from the start_ **

**_And tore you open 'til the end_ **

 

**_And I'm sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really_ **

**_Starts to fall in love with me_ **

**_Sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry I could be so blind_ **

**_Didn't mean to leave you_ **

**_And all of the things that we had behind_ **

 

**_And someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_But someone isn't me_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_But someone isn't me_ **

 

**_Sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really_ **

**_Starts to fall in love with me_ **

**_Sorry to my unknown lover_ **

**_Sorry I could be so blind_ **

**_Didn't mean to leave you_ **

**_And all of the things that we had behind_ **

 

**_And someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_But someone isn't me_ **

**_And someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_Someone will love you_ **

**_But someone isn't me_ **

 

When the song ended, Beca moved her hands away from the piano like it had burned her. “Thank you for listening to my demo.” She said before the video ended.

 

Chloe could see the tears in Beca’s eyes as she played, which just send her over the edge. She let her emotions run free as tears streamed down her cheeks. Chloe slowly got up from the bed and walked through the hall to Beca’s bedroom. She knocked a few times before opening the door. “You really wrote those about me?” She asked.

 

“Yeah.” Beca nodded as she sat up in the bed. “I wrote both of them a few months after I moved here.” She said softly.

 

“They’re beautiful, Becs.” Chloe sat down on the bed, looking over at Beca.

 

“Thank you.” Beca smiled slightly. She reached over and dried away the tears that had fallen from Chloe’s eyes. 

 

Chloe leaned forward and let her lips linger over Beca’s. Everything inside her was screaming at her to stop. She was vulnerable and had just gotten out of a relationship. This was the first time in three years that they were seeing each other and Chloe just knew that this was wrong and that she would regret it, but she needed to feel Beca’s warmth and her soft lips again. 

 

“Chlo…” Beca whispered. Their lips touched slightly when she spoke.

 

“Shhh…” Chloe whispered before she closed the distance between them. She kissed Beca deeply and it didn’t take long for Beca to r eciprocate the kiss. Beca pulled Chloe onto her lap and tangled her hands in Chloe’s hair. A few seconds later, Chloe slowly pulled away. “Wow…” She whispered. “I had almost forgotten how good that is.” She smiled a little. “I-uh. I should probably go back to the guest room.” Chloe said as she got up.

 

“Or, you could stay in here with me.” Beca suggested. “I mean, only if you want to.”

 

“I would love to.” Chloe said. She walked over to the other side of the bed and got under the covers. When Beca turned around to face her, Chloe moved closer, putting her head on Beca’s chest.

 

“I missed you.” Beca whispered.

 

“I missed you too.” Chloe smiled softly.

 

“I don’t know if she told you, but I actually had Aubrey send me updates on how you were doing.” Beca said.

 

Chloe lifted her head and looked at Beca. “Seriously? What did she tell you?” 

 

“Well, she told me that you got a boyfriend and then just a few days ago she told me that you broke up with him. She told me that he was an ass who didn’t treat you right...Is that true?” Beca asked.

 

“Yeah…” Chloe nodded. “He was an ass. Used to come home drunk and yell at me for not wanting to sleep with him..” She sat up and pulled her sleeves up to reveal bruises on her arms.

 

“Did he do this?” Beca asked. “Why didn’t you leave him?”

 

Chloe nodded.  “Yes, he did.” She looked over at Beca. “I was afraid that he would hurt me even more. I ran away to Aubrey’s place one time after a fight and when I got home again, he was so mad and aggressive. He hit me multiple times and split my lip and broke two of my ribs. While I was crying and trying to get away from him, he pinned me down and raped me. I convinced myself that I had done something wrong and that it was alright for him to come home drunk and make me have sex with him. I found out how wrong I was, the day before I broke up with him. We were supposed to go see his parents and when I told him that I didn’t want to go, he yelled at me. When I yelled back, he hit me. I shut up and came with him to go see them. I broke up with him in their house because I knew that he wouldn’t do anything when they were home.” Chloe took a deep breath.

 

“I had no idea that it was so bad.” Beca said softly. “Luckily, you’re alright now and you never have to see him again.”

 

“Well, about that…” Chloe bit down on her lover lip. “I should probably tell you something.”

 

“What is it?” Beca asked as she sat up.

 

“I’m pregnant..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at how I'm treating y'all. 2 chapters in 4 days!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little early christmas gift for y'all.  
> I hope that you enjoy it ;)
> 
> Song in this chapter is "Dancing on my own" by Robyn (with a few pronouns changed)
> 
> (Triggerwarning for description/mention of rape)

“You’re pregnant?” Beca lifted an eyebrow. “H-How long have you known?” She cleared her throat.

 

“Two weeks. Finding out was probably the last straw for breaking up with him. I didn’t want him to hurt the baby.” Chloe said softly.

 

“Well, are you planning to keep it? Did you plan?” Beca asked. She wanted to understand what was going on in Chloe’s head, but at the same time she didn’t want to intrude and make Chloe feel like it was an interrogation.

 

“I-I don’t really know yet.” Chloe sighed. “I didn’t plan it…” She bit down on her lower lip.

  
  


_ “Chloe, come on. You love when we go out with them! It’s gonna be fun.” Matt said for probably the seventh time that day. _

 

_ “I already told you. I’m not in the mood to go drink with your military buddies.” Chloe sighed. _

 

_ “What is it?” Matt asked. “Do you have something against my friends?” _

 

_ “No…” Chloe ran a hand through her hair. “I just pretty sick of having to listen to all your military talk. I hate having to pretend that whatever the wives is talking about could somehow be interesting. I don’t want to go.” She said _

 

_ “For once it would be great if you could be supportive of me, Chloe!” Matt scoffed. “All of the other guys are bringing their wives and girlfriends!” _

 

_ “Well, maybe I don’t want to be your trophy tonight…” Chloe mumbled as she left the room. _

 

_ Matt grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. “I heard that. You’re coming with me tonight and you’re gonna smile and you’re gonna have a good time. I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit tonight.” He sneered. _

 

_ “Let go of me!” Chloe raised her voice and pulled her arm away. “I don’t care what you say, I’m not going.” She pushed past him and went into the living room of their shared apartment. _

 

_ “Fine, I don’t need you.” He grabbed his coat and wallet and left. _

 

_ Chloe shook her head as she sat down on the couch. She knew that he wouldn’t be home until later tonight and by then, he would be too drunk to continue their argument. She hated this.  _

_ It was probably the third time she had cancelled because she just hated having to sit and listen to them talk about military stuff and pretend to be interested. _

 

_ Matt didn’t come home until almost four hours later. Chloe got up from the couch when she heard the door open. She leaned against the wall, watching him. _

 

_ “Heeeeey! Baby, I’m home!” Matt slurred with a laugh. He tried to walk towards her, supporting himself with a hand on the wall. _

 

_ “Yeah. I can see that. I can also see that you’re drunk.” Chloe said, folding her arms over her chest. _

 

_ “No, no, not at all.” Matt tried to hug her, but Chloe stepped back. “I just had a few beers.” _

 

_ “Sure.” Chloe rolled her eyes. “You can barely walk without tripping.” _

 

_ “C’mon baby, let's go to bed and have some fun.” Matt winked and grabbed onto her arm. _

 

_ “I’m not having sex with you when you’re drunk, you know that.” Chloe sighed, trying to pull her arm away. _

 

_ “Baby…” Matt groaned. He pressed her up against the doorframe. “I need you.” He smirked. _

 

_ “No.” Chloe shook her head. “It’s not happening.” She pushed past him and went into the living room. _

 

_ “You’re not walking away from me!” Matt yelled. “You’re supposed to take care of me when I come home!” He pushed her against the table and bend her down. Matt placed a hand on the back of her neck, holding her down. He used his other hand to pull his own pants and underwear off before he pushed Chloe’s dress up and pulled her underwear down. _

 

_ “Get off me!” She screamed, trying to get away from him. The hand on the back of her neck, holding her down. _

 

_ “Shut up!” He said as he thrusted inside her without warning.  _

 

_ Chloe bit down on her lower lip as tears streamed down her face. She knew that this was wrong. This wasn't the first time that he had reacted to a fight by pinning her down and forcing her to have sex with him. This couldn’t be normal. This wasn’t what a loving, supporting relationship was supposed to be like. Chloe wanted to scream, kick and run away, but she knew that he would just get aggressive and it wouldn’t stop him. When he finally came and pulled out, Chloe collapsed on the floor, crying, as he left the room. Chloe pulled herself up and got dressed. She grabbed her things and slipped out of the apartment. She had to go somewhere, she couldn’t be home now. Chloe got in her car and called Emily, the only person who lived close to her. _

 

_ “Chloe! Omg hi!” Emily said as she picked up the phone. _

 

_ “Em, can I stay with you tonight?” Chloe asked softly. _

 

_ “Yes! Of course!” Emily basically screamed into the phone.  _

 

_ “Thank you… I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Chloe said before she hung up. _

 

_ Chloe drove to Emily’s house and spend the night on her couch. In the morning, she explained everything. Chloe told Emily everything that had happened since Beca left and for the first time in a long time, she cried in front of someone else.  _

  
  
  


“Chlo…” Beca whispered. “Does he know?”

 

Chloe shook her head. “No, and I didn’t plan on telling him.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother… I just didn’t think that it would happen like this, but now it has… I’m gonna keep it. Even if I have to do it alone.” Chloe looked down at her hands.

 

“No, Chloe…” Beca took Chloe’s hand. “You’re not gonna do this alone.”

 

“I don’t want him to know.” Chloe shook his head.

 

“That’s not what I meant.” Beca looked at Chloe. “Move in with me.”

 

“What?” Chloe looked up at her.

 

“Move in with me.” Beca repeated.

 

“No, Beca… I can’t do that. You’ve got your life here and I’ve got my life at home…” Chloe sighed.

 

“There’s no reason that I should be alone up here. This apartment is too big for one person and you’re gonna have to find something else anyway…” Beca said softly

 

“What about your girlfriend?” Chloe asked.

 

“My what?” Beca’s eyes widened.

 

“Your girlfriend... “ Chloe repeated. “I don’t know.. I read it online.”

 

“Chloe… I’m not seeing anyone.” Beca chuckled slightly. “Who did they say that I was dating?”

 

“I don’t know. It was some blonde girl.” Chloe shrugged. “I didn’t recognize her.”

 

“I’m not dating anyone.” Beca said. “You have nothing to worry about.” She took Chloe’s hand.

 

“Beca, if I move in here and have a baby, you aren’t gonna be able to bring dates home or anything.” Chloe said.

 

“Luckily, I don’t care about that. I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.” Beca smiled a little.

 

“I can’t ask you to put your life on standby, Becs.” Chloe sighed.

 

“I don’t care about all of that.” Beca said. “I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I want to help you. Will you let me?” She lifted an eyebrow.

 

“Alright.” Chloe nodded. “I’ll move in with you. We’ll do this together.” She said.

 

“We’ll figure out how to do it tomorrow. Let’s just go to bed now.” Beca said softly.

 

“Yeah.” Chloe nodded and stood up. “Goodnight, Becs.” She said before she left the room.

 

Beca wanted to stop her, wanted to ask her to spend the night in here with her, but she knew that it was probably a step too far right now. She wanted to reconnect with Chloe and wanted to help her through this, even if Chloe didn’t want to be with her again. Beca wanted this to work. She wanted them to be able  to live together, even if they weren’t a couple.

  
  
  
  


Chloe woke up as she felt the bed dip down. She slowly opened her eyes, seeing Beca sitting on the bed.

 

“Good morning.” Beca smiled. “How did you sleep?”

 

“Fine…” Chloe mumbled as she stretched.

 

“So, what do you wanna do today?” Beca asked.

 

“Becs, I have no idea. I’ve never been in New York before and I just flew in last night.” Chloe chuckled.

 

“Alright, we could go for a walk?” Beca suggested. “I’ll show you New York.”

 

“Sounds good.” Chloe nodded.

 

“Great! I’ll make us some breakfast while you get ready.” Beca got up and disappeared out from the bedroom and into the kitchen.

 

Chloe sat up in the bed and watched as Beca left. She couldn’t believe that the younger girl wanted her to stay so badly that she offered her help throughout the pregnancy. Chloe took a quick shower and got dressed before she joined Beca in the kitchen. “Something smells good here.” She smiled.

 

“I made eggs and bacon.” Beca said, turning around to face Chloe. “Coffee?”

 

“Yes, please.” Chloe said as she sat down at the dining table while Beca placed a plate and a cup of coffee in front of her. “Thanks.” Chloe smiled.

 

Beca sat down with her own food. “So what do you wanna see today?” She asked.

 

“I don’t really know.” Chloe shrugged. “You could show me your favourite parts of New York.”

 

“Well, my favourite is the studio where I recorded my single.” Beca said.

 

“Then show it to me. I’d love to see you work.” Chloe smiled.

 

“I  can’t just show up. I need to set a date with the producer, but I’ll take you there someday. I promise.” Beca said.

 

Chloe nodded slightly as she began eating. Someday. She had heard that one from Beca before. Someday she would find out what she wanted to do in life. Someday she would invite Chloe to meet her dad and Sheila. Someday, she would stop doubting herself and believe that Chloe loved her. None of it really ever happened. 

 

When they finished eating and the dishes were done, Beca grabbed her keys, jacket and guitar case. “So, are you ready to see New York?”

 

“Yeah.” Chloe smiled as she walked out of the house with Beca right behind her.

 

“So, I think that I want to start by showing you where I played for the first time here.” Beca said. “When I first got in contact with my manager, he told me that it would be great idea to do some small street concerts to get my name and my sound slightly out there, so three weeks after I moved here, I went to Central park with my guitar and played for a few hours. It was probably the best mini concert I have ever played, so I’m gonna do it again today.” Beca smiled.

 

“I’m excited to hear you live, Becs.” Chloe said softly. “Is it just gonna be you with a guitar?”

 

“No, I wish it was, but my manager is setting up speakers and a mic for me and a few of his other artists.” Beca said as they walked towards the park. When they reached the park, Beca quickly spotted her manager. She grabbed Chloe’s hand and pulled her along.

 

“You’re late.” Dave, Beca’s manager said with his arms crossed.

 

“Dave, c’mon. I’m five minutes late and the show is already on.” Beca sighed.

 

“Five minutes late is still late.” Dave ran a hand over his head. “Just get ready.” He walked away.

 

“He’s tough.” Chloe said.

 

“Yeah. That’s the music business.” Beca said as she got her guitar out of the case.

 

“What are you playing? Chloe asked softly.

 

“I’m actually debuting a new song. I wrote it two weeks after Aubrey told me about your boyfriend.” Beca said.

 

“Ex boyfriend.” Chloe corrected her.

 

“Yeah. Ex boyfriend.” Beca nodded. “I have to talk to my manager for a minute before I start, but you can just stay here.”

 

“Alright. Good luck.” Chloe smiled slightly as Beca walked away. She looked over at the young boy behind the microphone, one of the other singers that Beca had mentioned. Chloe was afraid. Afraid of what Beca had written when she had heard about Matt. Ten minutes passed and people started filling in behind Chloe.

 

Beca went up to the microphone. “Hi. I’m Beca Mitchell.” She smiled as a few people in the crowd cheered. “I want to play a new song for you today. This is ‘Dancing on my own’.” Beca took a step back and plugged the guitar in as she played the opening chords. She played the opening once more as she stepped back up to the microphone with her eyes closed as she began the song.

  
  
  


_ Somebody said you got a new friend _

_ But does he love you better than I can? _

_ And there's a big black sky over my town _

_ I know where you're at I bet he's around _

 

_ And yeah I know it's stupid _

_ But I just gotta see it for myself _

 

_ I'm in the corner _

_ Watching you kiss him _

_ And I'm right over here _

_ Why can't you see me? _

_ And I'm givin' it my all _

_ But I'm not the girl you're taking home _

_ I keep dancing on my own _

 

_ I just wanna dance all night _

_ I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line _

_ Stilettos and broken bottles _

_ I'm spinning around in circles _

 

_ And I'm in the corner _

_ Watching you kiss him _

_ And I'm right over here _

_ Why can't you see me? _

_ And I'm giving it my all _

_ But I'm not the girl you're taking home _

_ And I keep dancing on my own _

_ And no, no _

 

Halfway through the song, Beca opened her eyes and looked down at Chloe.

 

_ So far away _

_ But still so near _

_ The lights come on _

_ The music dies _

_ But you don't see me standing here _

_ I just came to say goodbye _

 

_ I'm in the corner _

_ Watching you kiss him _

_ And I'm giving it my all _

_ But I'm not the girl you're taking home _

_ And I keep dancing on my own _

_ And no, no _

 

_ Said, I'm in the corner _

_ Watching you kiss him _

_ Oh, no _

_ And I'm right over here _

_ Why can't you see me? _

_ Oh, no _

_ And I'm giving it my all _

_ But I'm not the girl you're taking home _

_ And I keep dancing on my own _

 

_ So far away _

_ But still so near _

_ The lights come on _

_ The music dies _

_ But you don't see me standing here _

  
  


Beca looked out over the crowd with tears in her eyes during the last lines. When she finished she took a step back and smiled as people clapped and cheered.

“Thank you.” Beca smiled before she stepped off the small stage and walked back over to Chloe.

 

Chloe  immediately pulled Beca into a hug. “That was amazing, Becs.” She whispered.

 

“Thanks, Chlo:” Beca smiled. She placed a kiss on Chloe’s cheek before she pulled away from the hug. “I promised Dave that I would give an interview and take a few pictures. Is that okay with you?” She asked.

 

“Yes. Of course.” Chloe smiled. “Go get famous.” She watched as Beca went in front of a camera to talk about how it felt to debut her new song. 

 

“Beca Mitchell the new rising star of Arctic Records just debuted her song ‘Dancing On My Own. in front of a live audience” The interviewer said, looking at Beca. “How do you feel?”

 

“Really great.” Beca smiled. “I’ve been working on this song for a while and it means a lot to me that I finally got to play it live.”

 

“Can you give us a little peak into the song? Who is it about?” The interviewer poked around. “Perhaps an ex?”

 

Beca chuckled slightly. “Yeah, i’ts about my ex and the moment I was told that they were with someone new.” Beca said. She had been advised to avoid any pronouns when talking about her song inspirations. Beca wanted to just casually mention that she was gay, but her manager told her to keep it under wraps, at least until her first album.

 

“Oh, that’s a tough one.” The interviewer said. “Thank you for your time. We just wanna wish you good luck with your career and new song.”

 

“Thank you.” Beca smiled as the camera turned off.

 

“Ready for pictures, Beca?” Dave asked. He snuck an arm around her waist.

 

“Yeah.” Beca nodded. She leaned slightly towards him as a few pictures were taken.

 

“So, who did you bring?” Dave asked.

 

“My ex.” Beca looked over at Chloe who was sitting on a bench with her phone.

 

“Why are you writing sad songs about her? She’s clearly into you. Do something about it.” He said.

 

“I can’t.” Beca shook her head. “Can I go now?”

 

“Yeah. sure.” Dave nodded. “I’ll see you monday at 1, so we can start the album.” 

 

“Monday at 1.” Beca repeated before she went back over to Chloe. “I’m sorry that you had to sit here and wait.” She said softly.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Becs.” Chloe smiled. “I’m pretty hungry, so why don’t you show me your favourite lunch spot?”

 

“That sounds like a plan.” Beca nodded. She took Chloe’s hand as they walked out of the park. The sound of Dave’s voice echoed in her head ‘ **_She’s clearly into you. Do something about it’_ ** . Maybe she should. Maybe she should just go for it and tell Chloe that she had feelings for her. Or maybe not. What if Chloe didn’t feel the same? What if she just laughed in her face? Beca couldn’t take that risk. Especially now that Chloe was pregnant. Beca had never really been a fan of kids. Yes, she agreed to help Chloe, but she didn’t want to be a mother. She couldn’t handle that responsibility. Not when she was just getting her career started.


	9. Chapter 9

“So, how was your first day in New York?” Beca asked as she opened the door to the house.

 

“It was great.” Chloe smiled. “Thank you for showing me it all.” She went inside

 

“It was fun.” Beca nodded as she closed the door behind them.

 

Chloe pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checking a message from Stacie. “What…” She whispered.

 

“What’s wrong?” Beca asked, stepping closer to Chloe. Chloe handed her phone to Beca, the screen lighting up on an article.

 

“ **_BECA MITCHELL STEPS OUT FOR LUNCH WITH MYSTERIOUS WOMAN”_ **

 

Beca took a deep breath as she kept reading.

“ _ Beca Mitchell, 26, cooled down after a park performance by taking the mysterious red head to lunch. The women enjoyed a long lunch, sitting across from each other.  _

_ Beca was earlier spotted hugging and holding hands with the woman. _

_ A source close to Beca tells us that she is an old college girlfriend who, after Mitchell’s rise to fame, suddenly has an interest in her again. _

 

_ We can’t wait to see where this is going.” _

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have come here.” Chloe sighed, running a hand through her hair. “This was a mistake.” She pocketed her phone and turned around, walking towards the guest room.

 

“No, Chloe.” Beca sighed, following her. “Yes, the article is absolutely terrible, but that’s just something you’ll have to ignore when you’re… When you know me.” Beca had to stop herself from saying ‘when you’re dating me’. She wanted them to be together again, but Chloe was way too upset to talk about this right now.

 

“Something I’ll have to ignore?” Chloe scoffed. “That article is saying that I’m only here because of your success! Like I haven’t loved you since the moment I met you and like I haven’t wanted to run to you for the past 3 years!”

 

“Chlo…” Beca whispered.

 

“No… Forget that I said that.” Chloe sighed. She grabbed her suitcase and began packing her things.

 

“Where are you going?” Beca frowned

 

“Home. I can’t deal with this.” Chloe said.

 

“Chloe. Stop.” Beca grabbed her wrist. “We need to talk about this instead.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Chloe pulled her arm away.

 

“Well, that’s your problem. We’re gonna talk about it.” Beca grabbed Chloe’s hand, pulling her out to the couch. “Sit down.”

 

“Beca…” Chloe sighed as she sat down. “Can you just please forget that I said that?”

 

“No, I can’t.” Beca said down. “That article is bullshit.They don’t know who you are and they don’t know what we’ve been through.” She took Chloe’s hand. “They just want a good story. Don’t let it get to you, and please don’t leave…”

 

“Okay…” Chloe whispered.

 

“Good.” Beca smiled. “So, what should we do about dinner?”

 

“I really want pizza…” Chloe said.

 

“Alright. I’ll order us some pizzas and we’ll watch a movie and just catch up.” Beca stood up and grabbed her phone. She went into the kitchen to call the pizzaria.

 

Chloe sighed and leaned back on the couch. She hated that she had been here for only a day and she had already been turned into a media slut. 

 

“Pizzas will be here in 30 minutes.” Beca sat down next to Chloe. “Have you thought about names? For the baby?” She asked.

 

Chloe shook her head. “No… Until a few days ago, I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to keep it.” She looked down at her hands, feeling slightly guilty about dragging Beca into all of this. 

 

Beca placed her hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “Hey… You don’t have to feel bad about this. It’s your choice whether or not you wanna have the baby. No matter what your decision is, I will be here to support you.” She said softly.

 

“Thank you.” Chloe whispered. 

 

Beca laid down on the couch holding her arms open for Chloe. “Come here.” She smiled

 

Chloe laid down, cuddling close to Beca. She placed her head on the brunette’s chest. “I missed this…” Chloe whispered.

 

“Me too.” Beca placed a kiss on the top of Chloe’s head.

 

Chloe draped her arm over Beca’s stomach. “Becs…” She lifted her head to look at Beca.

 

“Yeah?” Beca looked down at her.

 

“Would it be okay if I stayed in your bed tonight?” She said softly. “It’s just… I feel so much safer and-”

 

“Chlo. You don’t have to give me a reason.” Beca smiled slightly. “Of course you can stay in my bed.”

 

“Thanks.” Chloe smiled. She laid her head down again.

 

Beca leaned her head back, looking up at the ceiling. She wished that she could just tell Chloe how she felt about her. Wished that she could make up for all the time that they lost. 

 

“My mom suggested that we should go to Spain again…” Chloe said softly. “Remember that?” She chuckled slightly.

 

“Yeah. We had our first real fight there.” Beca chuckled. “It was so stupid. We literally had a fight because I was super horny and couldn’t keep it in my pants for a week.” She laughed as she remembered the Beale family trip to Spain,

  
  


_ Beca had been on vacation in Spain with Chloe’s family for a week now and as much as she loved it, they had no alone time together. Chloe’s family could be very clingy and Beca loved being a part of family that cared so much about each other, but right now she just wanted to be locked in a room with Chloe and tear her clothes off. The family was staying at a hotel where Beca had hoped to get a room alone with Chloe, but Susan and Robert, Chloe’s parents, had decided that everyone under 25 would be sharing an apartment. That included herself, Chloe and the twins Emily and Noah. _

_ Beca would have been fine with having sex while Emily and Noah were sleeping in the other room, but everytime Beca tried to do something, Chloe shut her down by telling her to be quiet so they didn’t wake up the twins. Beca had been sneaking off to the bathroom to finish herself off when Chloe fell asleep. _

_ The morning of their last day in Spain, Chloe woke up early to make Beca coffee. She sat down on Beca side of the bed. _

 

_ “Good morning baby…” She said softly, running her fingers over Beca’s cheek. _

 

_ Beca groaned and turned over in the bed. “Noooo, it’s too early.” She mumbled. _

 

_ “Becs. Come on.” Chloe chuckled. “We’re all going to the beach today. You need to get up.” _

 

_ Beca sat up in the bed, running a hand over her face. “But the beach is full of sand and I’ll have to look at you in a bikini all day without touching you.” She groaned. _

 

_ “Beca…” Chloe sighed. “I promise that you can touch me whenever you want when we get home. I just feel a little uncomfortable being that close in front of my family.” _

 

_ “Why? They know that we’re gay and a couple.” Beca said. _

 

_ “That’s not why.” Chloe shook her head. “It’s just… I hate the way that my brother stare at you whenever we get close.” _

 

_ “You’ve been burning me off this whole week because of your brother?” Beca scoffed. She folded her arms over her chest. _

 

_ “He just constantly has this gross smug look on his face like he’s imagining what goes on when we’re alone.” Chloe ran her hand through her hair. _

 

_ “Well, he probably does. He’s a normal 20 year old guy without a girlfriend. You’re just gonna have to get over that.” Beca looked away. _

 

_ “You’re acting like this has only been hell for you, Beca. We usually have sex everyday . It’s been a week. I’m literally about to jump you every time you look at me!” Chloe raised her voice slightly. _

 

_ “Then do something about it, or leave me alone!” Beca raised her voice. _

 

_ “Fine.” Chloe stood up. She grabbed her phone and walked out of the room. _

 

_ Beca sighed and laid back down on the bed. She knew that after an argument Chloe expected Beca to run after her and apologize, but not this time. She didn’t want to be the crawling back and she didn’t care that they wouldn’t see each other until they had to board the flight. _

 

_ Beca spend the day at the hotel bar with her laptop working on her mixes and a beer. When Chloe family came back from the beach, Chloe walked right past Beca, not even looking at her. _

 

_ Chloe’s little sister, Emily sat down next to Beca. “So, what the hell is going on with you and Chloe?” _

 

_ Beca slipped her headphoned off, letting them rest on her neck. “Nothing you need to worry about, Emily.” Beca sighed _

 

_ “Oh come on.” Emily looked over Beca. “Chloe wouldn’t even talk about it. I know something’s wrong.” _

 

_ “Fine…” Beca said. “We just had a pretty big discussion this morning. It’s gonna be fine.” She looked over at Emily. “Don’t worry about us. Just go pack, we’re leaving for the airport soon.” _

 

_ “Alright. You two better get over this because you’re the best thing that has ever happened to her. I’ve never seen her so happy.” Emily said before she walked away. _

 

_ Beca sighed and closed her laptop. She finished her beer before walking back up to their room with her things. She opened the door, spotting Chloe packing her things. “Hey…” She said softly. _

 

_ “What do you want, Beca?” Chloe asked, not turned around to face her. _

 

_ Beca closed the door behind her. “Well, first I want you to actually look at me while I’m talking to you.” She sat down on the bed. _

 

_ “Fine.” Chloe said, turning around. _

 

_ “Could you just calm down? We’ve got a 17 hour flight soon and I don’t really want to sit next to you if you’re gonna act like this…” Beca sighed _

 

_ “Don’t worry about it. I switched places with Emily.” Chloe said, looking down at Beca _

 

_ “That’s your solution? Switching seats instead of just talking about this and solving it?” Beca scoffed. _

 

_ “Fine. Talk.” Chloe folded her arms over her chest. _

 

_ “I can’t believe that you just left this morning.” Beca said _

 

_ “You told me to do something or leave you alone. So I left you alone.” Chloe shrugged _

 

_ “I didn’t think that you were actually gonna leave!” Beca said. She ran a hand through her hair. _

 

_ “Then you shouldn’t have given me that optio, Beca. Now, can I please just finish packing?” _

 

_ “Fine.” Beca sighed and got up. She grabbed her suitcase that she packed earlier and left the room. She sat down at the hotel bar with a beer again. _

 

_ “Beca, honey, are you okay?” Susan, Chloe’s mom asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. _

 

_ “I’m fine, Susan.” Beca said with a slight smile. _

 

_ “I made Emily switch the seats back so you’re still sitting next to each other.” Susan said. _

 

_ “Thanks…” Beca nodded slightly. She turned to face her. “Susan, can I tell you something? In secret?” Beca asked _

 

_ “Of course. I won’t tell anyone.” Susan smiled. _

 

_ Beca took a deep breath. “I’m afraid that this fight is the thing that ends our relationship..” She said, looking down at her hands. _

 

_ “Oh honey.” Susan pulled Beca into a hug. “I’ve never seen two people that are more in love than you and Chloe. You can work through this.” She stroked Beca’s hair. _

 

_ “How?” Beca whispered. She let herself sink into Susan’s touch. _

 

_ “Show her how much you love her. Go up to the room and don’t come back down before you two are good again.” Susan said.  _

 

_ “Alright…” Beca nodded and stood up. She went back up to the room and opened the door. _

 

_ “What do you want now, Beca?” Chloe sighed. _

 

_ “Shut up and listen to me.” Beca said. “I love you, Chloe. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and I don’t want that to end. I would be so crushed if this pathetic little fight is what end our relationship.” She took a few steps closer to Chloe. “You are literally the best thing that ever happened to me. You’ve saved me from myself so many times. Without you, I would probably be dead right now and I’m so thankful that you are there for me whenever something happens. I’m so thankful that you let me into your life and into your family and I would hate to lose that again... “ Beca looked up at Chloe. They both had tear running down their cheeks. “I understand if you want this to be the end of us and I’ll figure out a way to live with it, but I just thought that you deserved to know how I felt.” _

 

_ “I love you too…” Chloe whispered. She wrapped her arms around Beca and kissed her deeply. _

 

_ When they pulled away, Beca wiped her tear away. “Ready to go home?” She asked softly. _

 

_ “Yeah.” Chloe nodded. “Very ready.” _


End file.
